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Subject:
From:
"Matthew R. Romoser" <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Fri, 28 Mar 1997 12:50:49 -0500
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***************** SUPER SECRET STUFF F.L.O. DISPATCH ******************
PARTICIPATING OPERATIVES -- Captain Casey : Fearless Leader
                         -- Sargeant Sarge: Fearless Co-Leader
MISSION TIME : 1 HOUR
OUTPOST REPORTING :  Ft. Wayne, Indiana Spare Bedroom Corps
 
SUBJECT:  Outer Space Adventure
***********************************************************************
 
Captain Casey and Sargeant Sarge Reporting:
 
Dook Dook !!
 
One small step for a ferret -- One Giant Hop for ferret kind!! hee hee dook.
 
We have expanded our reconnaisance efforts by exploring the realms of "OUTER
SPACE" for things to advance our cause.  It is imperitive that the F.L.O.
explore the outer realms of the universe to further glorify the F.L.O. and
expedite our eventual domination of the planet Earth as the Master Species.
We convinced our brainwashed S.N.H. to "talk us for a ride" by dooking and
scratching madly at the sliding back-porch invisible force field.
Unfortunately for the F.L.O. cause, the Silly Neutral Humans still control
the technology.....
 
Silly humans are suckers for any act of cuteness.  It's an inbred pavlovian
instinct that they all have . . . . . young recruits make note.  Our dooking
and war dancing and scratching touched a primitive nerve in our silly
neutral human that intantly made him do our bidding.  We was going to
release the force field and allow us to venture into OUTER SPACE!!
Buuuwwaaahahahaha Weak minded fool!!
 
Our plans were well laid out.  Operation "RUN FOR THE HILLS LIKE BATS OUT OF
HADES" could not fail!!  But then our S.N.H. made a strategic move.  He
brought out the "Silly Human Anti-F.L.O. Exploritory Restraints or
(S.H.A.F.E.Rs)"!  Daddy, ummm... I mean our S.N.H. calls them a "Leesssh".
Darn those humans and their technology!  This S.H.A.F.E.R is actually a
medieval ferret torture device!  Such wonderous technology in the hands of
such simpletons will be the downfall of us all!
 
The S.N.H. put the SHAFER harness around us and we writhed and squirmed in
protest for a few seconds as we usually do.  But we were no match for the
power of the SHAFER.  So we stopped struggling.  While the S.N.H. was
getting the travel bag (the actual FLO term is Super Secret Stuff Mobile
Command Center), Sarge and I had an emergency huddle.  Because of the
S.N.H's strategic move with the SHAFERs, Operation "RUN FOR THE HILLS LIKE
BATS OUT OF HADES" was aptly renamed Operation "TAKE IN THE SIGHTS AND ENJOY
THE RIDE".  Of course we would be gathering priceless reconnaisance data
vital to the F.L.O. at the same time.
 
Anyway, the S.N.H. packed us in the travel bag, climbed on his bike and we
were off!  Sarge and I poked our heads out of the top of the bag, thus
grabbing the attention of many other silly humans in the park behing our
outpost.  After riding along with the wind in our fur for awhile, we stopped
at a huge gurgling structure in a flower garden.  Our S.N.H. put our travel
bag on the ledge.  Upon scampering out for a recon foray, we discovered that
the gurgling structure was some find of doorway to another ferret
dimension!!  When we peered over the edge, THERE WERE TWO OTHER FERRETS
STARING RIGHT BACK AT US!  AND THEY WERE UPSIDE DOWN!  We couldn't see any
S.N.H.'s in this world, only these two ferrets.  Sarge and I guessed that
these two must be the "gatekeepers".  So perhaps, Operation "RUN FOR THE
HILLS LIKE BATS OUT OF HADES" wasn't a total loss!  We decided that a world
where ferrets ruled the earth was better than a world run by obtuse silly
humans!  So we made a break for it!  (Actually Sarge made a break for it and
my SHAFER got tangled with his....) We leaped into the portal together!
 
But to our dismay, the S.N.H.'s must have known about this portal and put up
an "Anti-F.L.O.  Invisible Water Force Field" because we landed in a pool of
water!!  We came up spitting and the S.N.H., who was laughing at us (he'll
pay for that), ferreted us out of the portal..(no pun intended).
 
So, fellow F.L.O.ers, take note . . . . Check first before leaping into a
portal to another dimension.  It could be guarded by Anti-F.L.O. Invisible
Water Force Fields.  Darn Silly Human Technology.....
 
** END DISPATCH **
 
Captain Casey and Sargeant Sarge
 
(Captain Casey's F.L.O. homepage -- http://www.cris.com/~Romoser/ferret.html)
[Posted in FML issue 1886]

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