[Moderator's note: As promised about a month ago, "sillygirl" would be
allowed a final rebuttal to some FML responses to a post of hers where
she implied perhaps some of us took things too far when we refer to our
ferrets as our "children."  I'd really rather not start the discussion
again but feel we do owe her the chance to respond.  I understand she
could not respond sooner due to her father's poor health.  BIG]
 
I want to first apologize for taking this long to write a reply to the
FML group.  Things have been very hectic in my life lately.  I just got
back from a 2 week vacation visiting my family down south and am still
recovering from it.  My Dad's health is declining and that is very hard
to see, but I am glad that we got to spend some time with him before
anything happens.  To be honest, I don't feel that I owe anyone an
explanation for the original post I left.  I am not obligated to explain
myself to people that I don't even know, especially after so many of you
attacked my character, called me names, cussed me out and so forth.  It
is out of decency that I am taking the time to sit here and type this
reply, because I AM a caring person, despite what many people have said
to and about me in this group.
 
First of all, I never once belittled any of you for referring to your
ferrets as your "babies" or "fur children".  I was criticised a lot for
saying things that I never said.  I was basically referring to a select
few who have openly stated on the FML that they prefer ferrets to human
kids and so forth, like some who even compared their own children to
animals and showed favoritism and such.  I was not at all saying that
it's wrong to refer to ferrets or any other animal as your child.  I
realize that it's just an affectionate pet name and I also realize that
animals are a part of our families and that many people cannot have
children.  So yes I understand that, without people feeling the need to
repeat the same things over and over again.  I have also been accused of
not caring about the animals I've had in my home, which is not the case
at all.  It's just that I don't show preferance for one over another
because I appreciate ALL animals.  In fact, when I was in Alabama a
couple of weeks ago I found a baby flying squirrel on the ground who had
fallen out of a tree and was too small to care for himself yet, so I
picked him up and brought him inside.  I went with my sister to take him
to the vet the next day and the vet said he looked very healthy and said
that they make great pets.  He gave us a lot of information about them,
such as what they need to eat, weaning them off formula, etc... It's now
been about 3 weeks since I found him and he is doing really good and is
very active.  My sister got a huge cage for him with tree branches for
him to climb on and they hold him a lot.  It's so cute when he crawls
up your arm in to your hair and burrows in.  He is such a little cutie.
Anyway, the point of mentioning that is to let you know that I DO care
very much about animals.  I don't view them simply as "pets" as some
accused me of.  The word "pet" is just a term like anything else.  I
think some people get too caught up in labels in this group and get
offended way too easily about the use of such words.  Some of you prefer
t o say you are "owned by the fuzzies" while others refer to ferrets as
their "babies" and others as "pets".  They all have basically the same
meaning, so please don't focus so much on the word someone uses, but
rather try to see the meaning behind what's being said.  I have also
referred to my pets as my babies too.  In fact, my sister and I both
referred to "Rocky" the squirrel as our baby many times.  Basically, I
was like his mom since his own mother was no longer able to care for him.
But my sister has that role now that I am not down there anymore.  If I
could have brought him on the plane with me, believe me I would have, but
I know my sister is giving him a good home.
 
I love my pets just as much as you guys love your's.  I don't have to
share all of the same beliefs in order to be a caring, loving person.
I may not believe in the Rainbow bridge, but that doesn't mean I'm a
cold hearted person.  Could some of my wording have been better?  Yes,
and I do regret the way I stated some things.  But that doesn't mean I
didn't also make some valid points too, which weren't even acknowledged
by most people.  I found it interesting that most people who preached
"tolerance", "patience", "love", etc.. did not show that same
consideration or tolerance for me.  Some people who emailed me were
downright evil.  One woman used the f word more times than I care to
count and went on to discuss her sex life and talk very vulgar and mock
me.  Then she called me stupid more times than I care to remember simply
because I commented on how unneccesary her harrassing emails were and
tried to defend myself in a kind way.  She even threatened me and told me
not to report her message to the manager of this group or I would (quote)
"be sorry".  Of course, I reported it anyway and sent a copy of her
emails to him.  There is just no excuse for that kind of behavior at
all.  It's extremely childish.  Several people also made references to my
e-mail name and said that my name "silly girl" was fitting, etc.. and
they went on to call me more names.  I think it's pretty small minded to
even make an issue over something like an e-mail name.  How many of you
have gotten on to chat groups and came up with silly names for yourself
as a screen name?  Most of you have, I would gather.  I think it's very
petty and childish to make an issue over such things or resort to bashing
someone's intelligence simply because they have some views which differ
from your's.  Talk about lack of tolerance.  I was not putting any of
you down for grieving over the loss of a ferret or other animal.  I have
grieved over many myself.  I still miss "Slinky", my ferret who died
about 7 or 8 years ago.  So yes I do understand grief.  Also, when I
referred to some as being "fanatical" I did not mean all of you.  I
don't think it's fanatical at all to care about animals and grieve when
something happens to them.  That is completely normal.  I would worry
about someone who didn't grieve because I'd wonder how much they really
cared about the animal.  I was simply talking about a select number of
people.  If it doesn't apply to you then you shouldn't take it
personally.
 
As for the part about people feeding live mice and rats to ferrets...
Yes, I am offended by that and it really disgusts me, but I can't tell
anyone else what to do.  My main point was that you should also consider
the feelings of other people on the FML, many of whom also have rats and
mice in our homes and value them just as much as you value ferrets.
Think of how some of us feel when you post messages about feeding live
mice and rats to your ferrets and describing how they ripped the poor
little things apart while still alive.  Imagine for a second if someone
posted a message like that about feeding a live ferret to a larger animal
that might hunt them in the wilds, such as a tiger or other large animal.
You would probably throw a fit if anyone casually mentioned feeding a
ferret to another animal.  My point was that we should value animals the
same and not treat them inhumanely.  But few people mentioned that aspect
of my message at all, which is rather sad.  The main point I was trying
to make with my post was that we should value all life equally, whether
it's a ferret, a mouse, a dog, or whatever.  And also think before you
post something that might hurt or offend other members of the group.
Sadly, many of you just skipped right over that part and instead of only
focussed on the parts you perceived as negative and harsh.
 
I do apologize for some of my wording, but I can assure you that most of
it was misunderstood.  I guess I was a little upset at the time, worried
about my sick father and then some of the posts just rubbed me the wrong
way.  I have been wanting to get another ferret for quite some time ever
since Slinky died, but it's not that easy to find them in my area.  So
I guess it was a little disapointing to not find what I was looking for
after joining the FML list.  Maybe if I said I was "disapointed", instead
of "annoyed" my whole message would have been read in a different tone.
But it's just one of those things that we do as imperfect people
sometimes.  Nobody words things perfectly all the time.  That certainly
doesn't mean that I am "disgusting and distasteful and very
uncompassionate" as I have been accused of being by some of you.
 
I also noticed that when several people openly came to my defense on the
FML and reminded others to have more tolerance and practice what they
preach... some of you accused ME of being behind those messages too.  I
can assure you that I did not leave those messages.  I have never posted
anything without showing my name and email address.  I'm sure the manager
of this group will also be able to verify that if you ask him since he
is the one who screens all messages before they are posted.  I have
been unfairly accused of many things that I never said or did, or even
implied.  I'm not the one who is going around bashing all petco stores
and generalizing a whole chain of stores like many people on this group
have done.  Nor am I going around telling people that my way is the only
right way as regards to the type of bedding one uses for their ferret or
what they feed their ferret or anything else.  There are a lot of people
on the FML who have posted things much harsher and much more opinionated
than I ever did, yet they are not jumped on for it.  And just as a side
note... Not all ferrets are allergic to cedar shavings.  What works for
one may not work for another.  It is the same way with my rats.  I had
one rat who seemed allergic to the shavings I was using in the cage,
but the other two rats don't have a problem with it at all.  Some people
say you should only use cat litter for ferrets while others swear by
shavings.  I think it varies from animal to animal.
 
I read a message recently on here where someone was condemning a pet
store for keeping a ferret in a glass cage with shavings on the bottom of
it.  But somehow I doubt that you'd have been satisfied if the ferret was
in a wire cage or anything else either.  The ferrets I have seen in the
pet stores looked well cared for and healthy and they are also kept in
glass cages without the top on and have shavings on the bottom that looks
clean.  I can tell that they change the bedding out often and the ferrets
look very healthy and playful.  The reason they put them in glass cages
is so you can see them better and also pick them up if you want before
deciding to buy.  Would you rather they keep the ferrets in wire cages
where you cannot see them as well and cannot pick them up??  Which would
be better?  The point of me mentioning this is to show that much of what
is posted on the FML is not all factual.  A lot is just opinions.  I
think stating opinions is fine, but when so many state things as facts
and when I see people bashing all the pet stores and making sweeping
generalizations about them that is when it gets a little old.  I agree
that some pet stores don't really care about the animals they care for,
but I don't agree that all petco stores are bad either.  I've been to
several of those stores and didn't find all the horrible conditions that
I have been told about on the FML.  I also don't think it's right for
people to post private phone numbers and addresses on this group and
then instruct everyone to harrass owners of shelters and so forth.
Unless we can each personally verify for ourselves that a shelter is
abusing animals or not properly caring for them we have no right to just
believe what some stranger tells us on the internet and attack people
without proof.  Nobody wants to be judged unfairly, so please don't do it
to anyone else either.  As I said, when I said "fanatical" before I was
only referring to the ones who go too far and think only their way is the
right way, or the ones who put their own children down while putting
their ferrets on a pedastol.  Loving our animals is NOT the problem and
that was never the point of anything I stated before.  I am sorry that my
wording wasn't better and I am also sorry for offending people, but I
think that others also need to consider how their comments might hurt or
offend people as well.  Take care.  I was rather offended by the "feeder
rat" comments too.
 
~Blossom~
 
P.S. I also wanted to thank all the kind people who privately emailed me
and had words of encouragement and understanding - the ones who really
got the true meaning of my previous post.  Also, thanks to the ones who
bravely defended me on the FML, knowing that in doing so you were going
to also be a target of some personal attacks.  Out of this
misunderstanding I have made a few new friends, so maybe there was a
reason for it. :)
 
[Moderator's note: Private (i.e. residential) phone numbers are NOT
posted on the FML without permission.
 
Unfortunately, many of the posts about pet stores abusing ferrets ARE
first hand knowledge, though I do believe they aren't indicative of the
majority of pet stores.  (And no, there aren't many pet stores that I
*like*, but that's my own opinion.)  BIG]
[Posted in FML issue 3949]