Our solution to the clipping thing was to have one person hold the fert on
the lap, with the fert's back to holder's tummy.  Holder put one hand under
the front legs & uses other hand to dispense copious amounts of FerretVite.
Other human begins with back feet, with ball of hand lightly pressed
against fert belly, pull one leg out at a time to clip nails.  For front
feet, holder helps by holding each front foot at elbow while clipper holds
at the toes.  The great secret is definately a continuous stream of
FerretVite.  We found that this works much better (and is less messy) than
FerretTone.  Lots of hugs & kisses to fert when task is accomplished.
 
Good luck!
Aileen & the herd
Slinky, Gizmo, Kyle, Noel, & Sandy
[Posted in FML issue 2495]