Bill, people "driven away" by your moderating with moderation?  So, THAT'S
how the FML got so HUGE?  (Hey, you aren't called BIG for nothin'.) (Look
fast, EVERYBODY, before you miss it -- the old "lady" grump is grinnning!
Why do you folks do that, anyway?  Sure does hurt my cheeks.) Anyway...
 
May I give the perspective of someone who has been here since there were
(How many?) maybe a dozen or fewer of us ( back when it was possible for us
to all know each other's nuances), and has seen the list change over the
years?  A large number of the communication problems happen because the
sheer size of the list makes it easy for someone to take offence at
practically anything, and if that person spouts off publically then another
will find that response tacky and behave just as poorly.  The sheer numbers
do it.  They also lead to misunderstandings, and to rumors.  Bad, bad, bad!
No, no, no!
 
Look, with so many of us here we just have to literally GO OUT OF OUR WAY to
be considerate.  Sometimes that means holding a post for a day or two till
the wording is not so abrupt and one is not so firey.  How do I know that
works?  Heck, I do it myself.  Sometimes ( No percentages given.) I just
have to.  If you can't reply in a way which you figure is finally civil do
it PRIVATELY!  One rule of thumb is that if someone wrote to you that way
and it hurt you then perhaps (G) you REALLY don't want to communicate in
that fashion in a public forum.  Have I always managed to write civilly or
clearly?  Nope.  In fact, several people here can tell you that rather
strongly and pointedly.  Have I always managed to read clearly?  Again,
nope, and ditto the references.  Nor have I always been read clearly (and I
won't say by whom because that is water under the bridge).  No one can do it
all the time.  What is important is that we TRY a damn sight HARDER to be
considerate and to re-read posts which upset us, and carefully tackle our
replies because of the volume of participants.
 
Sometimes something will just completely upset me and I KNOW I can't tackle
it reasonably.  What helps me then is to remember that there are A LOT of
people here and MANY of them are very knowledgeable (Hey, those of you who
know more than I -- stop smirking!) so I don't have to be my too-commonly
pontificating font of questionable or otherwise wisdom because one of you
will probably handle that one a dang sight better than I EVER could.  Guess
what, YOU don't have to always jump in, either.  If something is too
upsetting, or one of the other knowledgeable folks is likely to tackle it
you can be a computer chair potato for this one.  (You'd be surprised how
relaxing it is to realize that, and how much freedom is attached.)
 
When I really blow it Bill deletes it and I get to escape without egg on my
face or needing dental work -- not a bad deal at all.  He's previously
exerted incredible manly athletic prowess pulling my foot from my mouth at
times, and deflecting eggs aimed at my face.  I tell ya, the guy's Hercules
in Alpha-Geek format, he really is!  So if you don't want to avoid conflict
with verbal limberness just recall how flexible you will have to be for an
oral-ped extraction without any help, and try-try-again!
 
 Okay, off the podium and on to stuff I'm familiar with:  DO remember to
NOT give lysodren with water and to protect it from saliva with Nutrical or
an oil.
 
Oh, Steve had a REALLY smart idea today (Okay, he has great ones all the
time, but you might like this one.).  For the last two days Jumpstart has
been digging the litter pots like crazy though he had not before.  Well,
given how fast his claws are growing (We just trimmed them a week ago.)
Steve wondered if they were uncomfortable and digging may sometimes be a
response to wear them down, so we cut them again (and, boy, had they grown).
Guess what?  HE STOPPED DIGGING!!!!!
 
 _________________________________________________________
 |  Forgiveness coupon.   Use of this coupon dispels ALL |
 |  previous disagreements among FML members.            |
 |       Try,      Try           Again.                  |
 |  Clean Slate Club is NOT associated with the  Clean   |
 |  Plate Club.                                          |
 _________________________________________________________
 
Sukie
[Posted in FML issue 1866]