Hi there.  I was just reflecting on flame wars.  I used to dash of those
angry messages and hit the reply button with great gusto and satisfaction.
Fortunately, I didn't do this often, and the times I did our great and
groovy BIG usually caught the flame and sent it gently back.  Since flames
happen on the FML, related to ferrets, I hope this is on topic.
 
I have some guidelines I attempt to follow now when I'm tempted to fire up
the keyboard blow torch (but if I slip please don't remind me I said this :))
 
I try to write as if I might want to have this person as a friend in the
future.  After all, we fuzzy lovers, with all the real enemies to ferrets
out there, need to stick together.  I try to imagine how I might put what I
want to put if I were on the phone with this person, or, better, in the same
room.  And I try to remember that only part of what's meant comes through in
e-mails - body language, facial expressions, and the chance to ask for
clarification... all are missing.
 
If (I guess I should say when!) I write something angrily, even if my finger
is twitching over the "send" command I try an hit the "save message" command
instead, and wait for a day, or half a day, then reread and rethink the
response.  If I don't, thank goodness for BIG!
 
I know this is somewhat trite, but the Internet strikes me as a huge car
(figuratively *grin*), in the sense that, when driving, we tend to lose
touch with the people inside the cars and sometimes act ruder than if we
were, say, in line at the supermarket.  Have you ever pulled a rude one on a
fellow driver only to find that driver is a friend and/or knew who you were?
Now, that's embarrassing!  Sort of like having to read a flaming e-mail out
loud to the recipient, in person.  Would you do it?
 
Just a fuzzy (as in ferrets!), preachy thought for the day... curtailed by a
crashing podium...
 
Lynn Mc., ferret fan
[Posted in FML issue 2198]