Deer Mr. Tonks,
 
Hello.  My Mommy tolded me you wuz looking for a girlfrend, so I thought
I'd rite!  My name is Satinka, which means "Magic Dancer", and it fits
me, cuz I LOVE ta dance.  (Course, my Mommy sez I'm not reel graceful
about it, cuz I keep bumpin into stuff, but that just gets me goin'
harder!!) My frends call me Tinker or Tink.  I live wif my Mommy and
Daddy, and three brudders and a sister.  My sister's reel sick, so she
don't play much, but I love ta ressle wif my brudders.
 
I'm a sable ferret, wif a little white stripe on top of my head, and my
Mommy sez I'm reelly cute.  I'm a year old, and I just lost my winter
"pudge" (I mean, "insulation"!), so my Mommy sez I'm lookin' reelly sleek
and svelte.  I'm not a reel delicate, petite little girl, but my Mommy
sez I have lots of spunk!  I love playin' and cuddlin' in a hammock or
sleep sack.  I adore dingle-toys, and have quite a colleckshun behind da
cage.  I don't usually share dem wif my brudders, but I might be willing
ta share wif da rite guy!
 
Don't let dat meen ol' Wolfy make ya feel bad.  I LOOOOOOOVE yer green
speedo, and I think dat your fluttery cape looks sooooooooo cool (and
fun!!!) My Mommy showed me yer picture, and I think you have da prettiest
red eyes.  I've neber ackshully met anyone wif red eyes before!  (Well,
my brudder Tanner has burgundy eyes, but he doesn't count, 'cuz he's
stoopid.)
 
Pleeze rite back an' let Tinker know what ya think!  I'll be waitin' ta
hear from you.
 
Dingles,
Tinker
[Posted in FML issue 5231]