>From:    Jenna Leigh <[log in to unmask]>
>I wrote to a "friend" hoping for some sympathy and advice.  Instead I
>received zero sympathy what-so-ever:
 
Jenna,
 
You do have my sympathy, believe me.  I had to leave my dog when I went to
college.  Do you think I enjoyed that?  Of course not, but I had no choice.
It appears you have no choice either.  You simply can't take your ferret
with you.  At least not this year.
 
My suggestion would be to leave the ferret with your parents.  She will be
in a familiar environment with familiar people.  Sure, she might not get
*exactly* the same level of care that you would provide, but she won't
suddenly be not only separated from you, but also thrust into a strange
situation with new people and new ferrets, which she would be if you
fostered her with someone.  Unless you think your parents would physically
abuse her, I would leave her with them.
 
Next, I'd look at getting a job once you get to college so that you can
propose paying for off-campus housing starting next year.  If you can find
an apt that allows pets and can help pay for it yourself, it will show your
parents that you are serious and responsible enough to live off-campus.
It's not such a bad thing to live on-campus the first year (the no-pets
rule aside).  It helps you make friends and get more involved with all the
activities going on.  I have no doubt that you will run into people in the
dorms that also had to leave their pets behind.  Perhaps you can find an
apt with a few people like this where you can all have your pets with you.
 
Colleges have a very good reason for not allowing pets in dorms.  Many
people have allergies.  Many people don't like animals at all.  My
university only allowed small caged pets like mice, and fish in bowls.
But if someone complained I believe the pets would have had to go.
Freshman are normally housed in doubles at least.  So you've got to live
peaceably with your roommate(s) and if they don't like animals or are
allergic, you can't force them to accept your pet.
 
>>My mom would at least try to take care of her, but for one thing she's
>>got a LOT of other stuff to take care of - it'll be more when I'm gone as
>>it is - and for another, frankly she's still intimidated by my ferret due
>>to the fact that a ferret is not as normal a pet
 
Well, I'd say you've got the whole summer to "train" your mom to get more
used to her.  Does she nip?  If so, start training her not to.  Tell your
mom that you will trust her to take care of your ferret while you're gone
and that you hope she will enjoy the ferret as much as you do.  I'm
assuming your mom's not an ogre.  Help her to see how cute and loveable
your ferret is.  She let you have Kaz after all, she must not hate her.
 
>I can't believe this!  People (even my friends) act like getting rid of my
>ferret should be as simple and logical as giving up a material possession.
 
Your friend suggested leaving the ferret with your mom, OR finding her a
new home.  The first option doesn't mean you are "getting rid of" your
ferret.
 
>Giving Kaz (my ferret) away so that I can go to college is out of the
>question.  I don't care how stupid it may sound to anyone else, but I
>would no sooner do that to her than I would to *human* children.
 
So you're willing to give up getting an education so that you can live with
your ferret?  That sounds very romantic but it's simply not reasonable.
How do you propose to support yourself once you are grown up and no longer
live with your parents?  Are you going to subsist on crackers and ketchup
so that your ferret can have good food and vet care?  We're talking about
being away from your ferret for ONE YEAR (if you get an apt next year) so
that you can get a degree and earn a living that will then allow you to
support yourself, Kaz, and any other pets that you might have some day.
Taking care of yourself (ie, being able to pay rent, car payments, buy good
food, and getting your own health care needs provided for) is one of the
best things you can do for your ferret, because then it means that you will
be able to take good care of her.
 
>...I can't believe no one else I know in the world respects and
>appreciates animals the way that I do.  Everyone thinks I'm insane for
>being so determined not to be separated from my ferret.
 
Not insane, just not thinking clearly.  I'm sorry if you're offended by
this.  Accept that this year you will have to be away from Kaz most of the
time.  Then take some of that determination and use it to make plans for
the next year so that you can have your pet with you.
 
>I'm extremely opposed to the idea of no longer being Kaz's primary
>caretaker - her "mommy"
 
Leaving her with your parents doesn't mean you give up being her "mommy".
It just means you won't see her as often.  Believe me, the year will fly
by, and soon you'll be back home for the summer and hopefully have plans
for an off-campus apt for the next year where you can have your ferret
with you.
 
I truly hope everything works out for you.
 
Karen
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=======================================================================
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes.  That way,
when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have their shoes.
=======================================================================
If you love ferrets, check out:
http://www.dartmouth.edu/~crassi/index.html
=======================================================================
[Posted in FML issue 2671]