This will be difficult to write as it brings waves of pain with it...
 
Spike and Gizmo came to me a year ago Memorial Day.  Spike was so thin I
couldn't understand how he was still alive.  He had black tarry diarrhea.
Gizmo was chubby.  Both had beautiful coats.  Spike was diagnosed with
salmenella.  We got him through that and he gained weight but it was a
constant struggle to keep him eating.  He went into surgery and two
hairballs were removed from his stomach.  Three weeks of battling to get
him to eat and he finally turned around.  Spike ate with relish, on his
own.  A month ago he started going down.  Xrays revealed the old back
injury was causing pain... or so we thought.  A week ago he went down fast
and produced light coffee colored urine (he was hydrated) and he smelled a
sweetish urine smell.  Kidneys were small and very hard.  Kidney failure.
He ate less and less for me, barely taking in 10 cc's in a day.  He was
pretty much out of it most of the time.  I had to rush Loverboy to our
vet last Thursday night and took Spike too for what I thought would be his
last vet visit.  As soon as we got in the car he tried to become aware.
When we got to the vet he was somewhat aware and very fussy.  As weak as
he was, he was still fighting for life.  I knew he wasn't ready at that
time.... Spike was relieved when we got home and he slept peacefully.
Spike continued to hold on and the only fluids he took in were sub-q.
For 3 days he refused all food, allowing the recipe to dribble out of his
tightly clenched mouth.... I agonized over the waiting but I knew Spike
wanted to go at home - from his reaction the night at our vets.  He
struggled so to stay but his body was dying... Tuesday morning, sometime
between midnight and 2 a.m. Spike left this world.  He was laying beside
me on the bed....
 
A year or so ago, I took 3 ferrets in for a vet visit.  One I knew was
final, the other two were questionable, one for a heart problem and one
for wasting, who was diagnosed with a growth in her colon.  Neither were
ready to go, but both were suffering and I didn't want them to suffer.  I
chose to let them go that day... I'll never forget the look in their eyes,
not of fear, but that they didn't want to go.  That act haunts me to this
day, and will for the rest of my life.  Even though they were let out
gently, as our vet always does when it is necessary, and our vet agreed
it was time, I will forever regret my decision.
 
Sometimes pain and suffering isn't the answer to when it is time when we
think it might be.  The ferret needs to be ready to leave too, no matter
how painful it is for us to wait.
 
hugs to all. tle
Troy Lynn Eckart
Ferret Family Services
http://www-personal.ksu.edu/~sprite/ffs.html
http://www.geocities.com/Petsburgh/Haven/5481/
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[Posted in FML issue 3749]