A response to Rick Lemker's posting of 5 Aug 95 re smuggling ferrets
across the border.  I'll paraphrase pertinent parts to save space.  Rick
says Fish and Game are unconcerned at the border, while Calif Dept of
Food and Ag will "only confiscate fruits, plants, and vegetables ...NOT
animals.  (It's well known that the border agents don't do much produce
shopping)."
 
While it has been a few years, I was one of those Food and Ag Quarantine
Officers and I can give you a few details about the arrangement.  First,
except during hunting season (to check tags and look for poachers) Fish
and Game usually do not stay on the Calif border.  Food and Ag enforce
all agricultural and fish/game quarantines.  ALL quarantines, including
federal.  YES, they will confiscate animals, including _Xenopus_ frogs,
ferrets, gerbils, poisonous reptiles without permits, etc.  The factors
in your favor to smuggle are: (1) it's a boring, boring job!; (2) bored
people are not efficient; (3) the supervisors vacillate over how tough
the officers should be; and (4) by and large, most of the officers are
poorly trained and could care less about enforcing anything.  A tough
criticism, but then as I said, I worked for and with them.
 
Things they will look for (and remember, there are some sharp officers mixed
in with the dross): license plates from east of Utah (more fruit/vegie
quarantines); animal cages (obviously); soil/plants; anything that might
have been outside in gypsy moth states; and visitors/tourists who annoy
them!  I know we used to rip apart cars of obnoxious tourists, assuming they
had something to hide!
 
As for the officers eating the fruit or vegies they confiscate, I knew of
some who would eat occasional pieces, but it's not worth a reprimand or
suspension most of the time.  The confiscated items (including animals)
are destroyed.  Most officers will give you a chance to take animals back
out of state, but the way the quarantine laws are written, it's vague
enough that they don't have to.  For those of you who don't think they
can forcibly seize any property of yours, the officers ARE law
enforcement officers and have direct phone lines to the highway patrol.
 
My basic suggestions for crossing border: hide ferrets, don't have any cages
visible, no plants, and have a bag of fruit to sacrifice!  A couple of
apples and an orange work well.  Those are normal tourist things.  My wife
is laughing over my shoulder.  She doesn't realize that each officer reports
what they've confiscated each day, and by showing them the fruit and giving
them the chance to show they are "doing their job" those untrained minds are
happy.  Do NOT bluff!  Simply do not offer any info that you are not asked
for and simply say NO if asked about animals other than dogs and cats.  If
your car smells of ferrets, air it out a bit as you drive up!
 
DISCLAIMER:I am not encouraging anyone to break any quarantine law.
 
EPFlemyng
[Posted in FML issue 1279]