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Subject:
From:
colburns <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Sun, 10 Sep 2006 21:43:27 -0400
Content-Type:
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It was the fullest, richest part of the summer in New England.  The
afternoon shadows were lengthening, the blackberries were deep purple and
plump on the cane, and the soft breezes sifted the yellow powder from the
fuzzy yellow goldenrod blossoms.  The bees were starting to show some
wear and tear, and the occasional "plonk!" of a shiny new acorn could be
heard beneath the oaks.  It was the end of August, and the hoomins packed
up their suitcases, and left the house for their annual vacation.  The
dog, the Noble Allis Chompers was dropped off to spend the time with
local family.  Arrangements were made with the nice girl down the street
to check in on Ping and Puma, and France, the Fricken' Pygmy Hedgehog
every day.  The hoomins would be gone for ten days.  But while they were
gone, someone was coming over for an extended stay in the country...the
Otters.
 
The hoomins had not been gone for more than an hour before Ping is He
heard the first scratching and padding noises at the front windows.
"We're in here!" he hollered from inside the large cage he now shared
with Puma.  "Let us out!" (He and Puma had heard the hoomins make plans
for building a Ferret Room onto their new small house, but they knew
they must be patient in the cage until that day.) More scratching and
padding followed until finally one small arm covered with glossy brown
fur *punched* its way through the windowscreen, and a somewhat webbed
set of paws set to loosening more of the screen.
 
Finally, two deep voices could be heard from outside.
 
"I do believe that we can now fit through that hole one at a time,
Brother" said the First voice.
 
"Delightful!" opined the Second. "I would like to begin by climbing up,
if you would be so kind as to cup your paws for me" he continued.
 
"Why certainly, yes, let me put this bag down" said the First.  A muffled
thump, and the rustling of a thin plastic bag could be heard, the two
handled kind that comes from Wal-Mart.
 
Grunting and much louder scrabbling could be heard then, and it went on
for some time.  Finally, a glossy brown head with stiff whiskers and tiny
ears appeared at the window, and it poked through the loosened corner of
the screen.  The deep-voiced Second otter shouted "Hallo, the house!  Is
anybody home?"
 
Ping called out again "We're in here!  Let us out, Dude!" while Puma
waited quietly by his side on the second level of the cage.  Let the
big lug do the yelling.  Puma preferred conversation that took place
at a civilized decibel level.  Ping continued "Our hoomins hid all of
the tools on us, I haven't been able to work on the bars yet!"
 
"Oh dear, oh dear" said the Second otter.  He began to extrude his long
body through the hole in the screen awkwardly, huffing under his breath
as he did.  "Let me just...get some superior leverage....ah....this will
do nicely..." and he tumbled from the window and down onto the varnished
wooden floorboards with a tremendous "THUMP!" He lay where he fell for a
few moments, stunned, while the deep voice of the First otter could be
heard inquiring about the state of the Second's health from outside, and
Ping made essentially the same inquiries from inside the cage.  Finally,
the Second otter got some breath back inside his body, and explained
that he was fine, just fine.
 
"Are you certain, Brother?" called the First otter from outside.
 
"Yes, yes" he replied, regaining his feet and brushing himself off.
"Although my landing left something to be desired.  Perhaps, Brother,
you will pass that bag through the screen, and I will then assist you
inside?"
 
"Delightful!,"cried the First otter.  Ping looked at Puma, and Puma
looked at Ping.  Ping raised his shoulders silently in a shrug, as if to
say "I don't get it either." Puma sighed, quietly.  And then, the white
plastic bag was thrust through the screen, dangling from the hand of the
First otter....It swung, gently.
 
Ping cleared his throat and asked politely "Um, Dudes, what's in the bag?"
 
End Part One
[Posted in FML issue 5362]

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