"The Low Down Slinky Ferret Blues" by I. B. Dookin
 
My friends have done left me
My house is a mess
I can't find my wallet
I can't even guess
My girl won't come over
She says I'm a loss
But when it comes to ferrets
They done won the toss
 
I got the slinky ferret blues
And there's nothing I can do
I'm shoe high in litter
And knee high in poo
Its the low down slinky ferret blues
 
I sneak through my doors
I look under my sheets
I shower in my undies
I'm mobbed for my treats
My carpets are all stained
My couch has been holed
But when it comes to ferrets
My soul has been sold
 
I got the low down ferret blues
And there's nothing I can say
I'm butt high in kibble
And chest high in spray
Its the low down sneaky ferret blues
 
I've lost all my corners
My carpet's threadbare
I don't own no rubber
I wear tight underware
I sleep with my shoes on
There's skid marks on my floor
But when it comes to ferrets
There's always room for more
 
I got the ferret blues
A blue blue ferret boy
I'm neck high in loose hair
But drowning in my joy
Its the low down stinky ferret blues
The slinky sneaky stinky ferret blues
Oh yeah
 
Bob C and 20 Mo' Blues Bros
[Posted in FML issue 2537]