Pssst...dook dook...attention all FLO members...this is FLO sympathiser
Millie reporting...I have discovered a way to annihilate I repeat ANNIHILATE
all resistance to FLO activities.  Mummy and Daddy took me to the vet to be
tortured by injection...there were other BIG HUGE LOUD ferrets there...Mummy
called them dogs...they were dooking at each other and at Mummy and Daddy
AND THEN THEY DOOKED AT ME!!  and Mummy and Daddy wouldn't let me out of my
cage to WRESTLE THEM!!!  And I wanted to BITE THEIR BIG FLOPPY EARS!!!  And
they dooked real loud and I got SOOOO MAD THAT I LIFTED UP MY TAIL AND DID A
STINKY!!!
 
Well the big dog ferret that was dooking at me did a WHINY SCARED DOOK and
RAN AWAY into the CORNER!  And the humans with the big dog-ferrets moved
RIGHT AWAY from Mummy and Daddy!!!  And I thought they'd be PROUD coz I got
seats for them but they were EMBARRASSED...and Daddy took me OUTSIDE!!!  I
began to hope that I had escaped the vet torture but WARNING: the Vet was
not afraid of the stinkybomb - I repeat: VETS APPEAR TO BE IMPERVIOUS TO
STINKY ATTACKS!  She just LAUGHED at Mummy and Daddy and told them the
stinky was a NORMAL SPRAYING SCENT!!!
 
FLO MEMBERS WILL UNDERSTAND THE IMPLICATIONS OF THIS...The powerful effects
of the Stinkbomb are available to ANY NORMAL FERRET!!  This is a weapon
capable of throwing the average human OR FERRET-DOG into IMMEDIATE CHAOS!!!
I personally have used the Stinkbomb to great effect not only at the vet's
but also to get the bedroom ALL TO MYSELF!!!
 
A word of Warning: The stinkbomb must only be used sparingly...overuse
results in solitary confinement while the humans recuperate from the
effects, and may even lead to water torture in the bath... BUT JUDICIOUS USE
MAY US GIVE BARGAINING POWER BEYONG OUR WILDEST DREAMS!!!
 
Dispatch Interrupted: Oh no!!!  Mummy approaching!!...if she catches me my
plot will be revealed...and my raisin priveledges revoked!!  Dook dook...end
dispatch...
 
****************************************************************************
A PS from Sophie: It seems Millie has discovered a great power for evil -
she has used the stinky twice in one week (that we know about, although I
have visions of her holding Sinbad hostage in their cage during the day -
"I'm warning you, Sinbad...one move towards the food and I'LL SPRAY!!  AND
DON'T THINK I WON'T DO IT!!) We're hoping this is just an awkward stage in
her development...some kind of freudian ferret anal expulsive stage...
 
Also, just had to say - don't recall who wrote it...but I'm STILL giggling
about the "snorkel...bop...TING-A-LING...snorkel...bop bop...TING-A-LING"!!
 
Cheers!
[Posted in FML issue 1558]