Dear FML Friends,

Jennifer Brown has asked that I let you know that Dante Doodlebug has
passed. She sent me the following article, asking I post on the FML as
many of you knew her and Dante.

Jennifer gave Dante, someone elses throw-a-way a wonderful home, we
should all be so fortunate to live the live he did. If you want to
respond, her email is "Jennifer B" <[log in to unmask]>,

Remembering my Dante Doodle 1999 -- May 25, 2008

As quietly as he may have entered this world, my Dante Doodle passed
away Sunday afternoon cradled in my arms. He crossed gently and without
much notice to the rest of the universe but the void he leaves behind
in my heart and life is immeasurable and right now, nearly unbearable.
He was such a good little boy - a beautiful boy - and brought such
great joy to me since the moment he arrived here to his forever home on
June 3, 2006. As I looked into Dante's beautiful brown eyes yesterday
that once gleamed and flickered with curiosity and mischief, I saw
nothing but sadness, emptiness, and weariness and knew that my
Doodlebug's gigantic spirit had left his tiny, exhausted body. I gently
kissed Dante's soaking wet, tear-stained face and whispered over and
over in his teeny little ear, "I'm so sorry. Mommy loves you so much.
You're such a good little boy" and watched him drift off to sleep one
last time. I have no way of knowing if Dante could comprehend my words
or somehow understand how great my love was and still is for him but I
will hold on to the hope that he does know and I will anxiously await
the day we are reunited so I can remind him.

Dante Doodle was old and his broken down body in pain but he was young
in spirit and remained a fighter 'till the very end. My Doodlebug was
always a fighter -- he fought his medicine, the sub-q fluids, using the
litter box, and was always resistant to new foods but I never minded.
It was the day he stopped fighting that I feared and that day came way
too soon. Even in the shadow of death, I believe Dante was refusing to
give up his fight for life for my sake but I couldn't bear to watch him
labor with each breath any longer and struggle just to move any part of
his body, knowing how much pain it was causing him. Pain and suffering
he just didn't deserve. Dante wanted his life and to live it well and
I tried to give him every opportunity to do just that. As I watched
my little boy endure and rally back from surgeries and a host of
illnesses, I realized that Dante's life was just as important to him as
it was to me and therefore I was willing and compelled to do whatever
it took to give him the best life possible, for as long as possible.
*There is no difference in the will to live life and to live life with
a will and purpose and Dante and I gave each other a bit of both.*

I do not wish I could have had one more day, one more hour, or even
one more minute with Dante - my Doodlebug, my Mr. McGoo, my Doodle
Schmoodle - because I know that would have only meant one more day, one
more hour, or one more minute he would have been suffering in terrible
pain at my expense. But if only I could have had just one more moment
to pour into my Dante Doodle one more ounce of love so I could make
sure he knew just how * MUCH* I loved him - that's all I would have
asked for. Of course, if I could truly have any wish granted, it would
be that Dante would have never experienced any pain and discomfort
from his illnesses because he didn't deserve to suffer. My Doodlebug
deserved the fulfillment of my promise to give him unconditional love
and comfort, total devotion, the best medical treatment available to
him, enough food, water, and treats so he would never know hunger or
thirst, and a wonderful, clean, safe home for the remainder of his days
here on earth. I do believe I kept every part of my promise to him but
knowing that still doesn't ease the grief or emptiness in my heart
right now because the one thing I could neither promise nor give Dante
was eternal life.

Dante Doodle was someone else's throw away and burden but he was the
light of my life, an absolute delight, an angel, and my treasure. He
was already old (to the ferret world at least) at 6 1/2 yrs. of age
when he came to me (it was shortly after my Snowball's passing during
Memorial Day weekend 2006) but he was no less feisty, independent,
strong-willed, stubborn, playful, crafty, and precocious than ferrets
half his age. It was well-known that Dante didn't care for other
ferrets and try as I might to find him a suitable playmate and
companion, he made it clear to me that he wanted no one but me in his
life. He just preferred human interaction, he loved being loved on,
and never tired of receiving constant attention. Dante Doodle was a
wonderful ambassador to the ferret community and everyone he met fell
instantly in love with him, me included, so that's the way it was --
just Jen & Dante. Despite the stubborn, independent side of his
personality though, Dante really was a very loving, gentle, tolerant,
patient ferret with such personality and character who just never
really grasped that he was only a ferret and not human.

Although Dante had a host of silly quirks, he was quite content with
his small comforts, didn't demand much (except when it came to food),
and was perfectly happy to go about his small bit of business every
day. Dante Doodle always seemed to be on an important mission -- some
mysterious quest when he toodled around the house, checking out the
same things in the same places every day. But I gave him freedom and
his independence to have his secret missions and, in return, he was my
shoulder to cry on and my "cuddle fuzzy" (incidentally he sometimes
resisted cuddle time like a stubborn old man too proud to admit he's
*NOT* too much of a man for that "mushy" stuff. However, near the end
of his time on earth, Dante stopped resisting the constant hugs and
cuddles and kisses I smothered him with and I'm convinced he secretly
enjoyed having his head massaged, being stroked behind his ears, and
being wrapped in his blankets while snuggling next to me in my bed).

Dante's list of quirks, likes, and dislikes seemed to grow every day
but I was always happy to oblige him (with an occasional grumbling of
course). His favorites were drinking water from the bathtub drain,
sleeping (particularly on fleece blankets), car rides, removing and
hiding my shoe insoles, salad shrimp, chicken N-bones, practically
all things sugary and sweet, and he was overly fond of anything
with a rubber handle (which landed him in emergency surgery for a
gastro-intestinal blockage in late '07). His dislikes? That's easy --
anything not on his list of "likes"! I'll never understand how a
ferret that hated baths loved frolicking in the bathtub with the water
trickling and climbing out soaking wet. Nor will I ever understand why
one ferret needed at least five different beds in one room! And there
is no explanation why my Doodlebug loved salad shrimp but wouldn't eat
prawns, why he would tip over his water bowl and lick the water from
the floor, why he would eat cooked chicken pieces (warmed of course)
but turned his cute, speckled nose up at chicken soup (basically pureed
chicken, water, and Nutri-Cal). But that was Dante and as quirky as he
was, my Doodlebug brought such immeasurable joy and laughter to my life
and is what made him so endearing.

I will always love you Dante Doodle -- my Mr. McGoo, my Doodle
Schmoodle, my little boy -- with a very special love that no other will
ever know. It was truly a privilege to share time and life with you and
I am forever grateful to God for entrusting to me the care of such a
beautiful, sweet, loving, precious, funny little creature as you were.
I have never been more proud to wear any title than that of "Dante's
mom". You earned your wings the moment you were born so now fly to the
Bridge with your healthy new body and frolic free from all pain and
suffering. I love you with an everlasting love and will think of you
every day and cherish every memory of you I am blessed to have in my
heart.

Jennifer B.

[Posted in FML 5984]