Man o man. I'd hate to live at places where there are all those deadly
threats to ferrets. I had no idea that circumstances could be so
dastardly to my ferrets when they are staked out in my side yard, and
unsupervised at that. Ten lashes for you, dummy Edward, tsk, tsk.

From time to time a few observations of the digging grounds from my
deck, which is some 20 feet above and north of the digging grounds, I
have watched two animal types, other than my pet crows, Forty, and his
mate (no name) interact with the ferrets on the ground. These two
animals are racoons and cats.

The typography here is a gentle downward sloping lot facing west. There
is one house below me and below them is a little, itty bittie wetland
and a small pond. The pond and the wetland are natural attractants to
the racoons and they regularly meander down the hill from the woods up
above us, usually after sunset.

Now here's the interesting part and I could hardly believe it the first
time I saw how the 'coons interacted with the grounded ferrets. Of
course you may have not realized it but the vast majority of my ferrets
are neither neutered nor spayed. They're pretty tough customers and
dominate the little fixed ferrets savagely. For that reason when they
are staked out, the stakes are located such that no two ferrets can
overlap each others ground plane - the circular area the diameter of
which is fixed by the length of the leash line twixt the ferret and
the steel rod in the ground.

I had some concern for the ferrets the first time I was privy to
the coons meeting the ferrets, but felt somewhat in control of the
developing situation by having in hand my Benjamin 0.177 caliber pump
air rifle. I am a deadly shot and can knock out the eye of a squirrel
at 50 feet, no trouble at all. So I was prepared for whatever was about
to happen between the the coon and the ferret. My plan of action was
to sting the coon in the butt with a low velocity 0.177 lead slug in
the event the coon gave the ferret bad news.

Boy, was I surprised at the action of the coon ambling down the hill
straight toward the ferret populated digging grounds; that is until
the coon scented the collected mustelids, most of whom were snoozing
and apparently unaware of the coon's approach. The coon's nose pointed
skyward at the same time he stopped dead in his tracks some 7 feet
uphill of the resting ferrets. Very, very deliberately the coon rose
to his full height and used his nose like a radar probe, all the while
rocking on his hind legs and, at the same time bobbing up and down as
if he was trying to get a visual of the strange situation just ahead
of and below him.

I, being totally ignorant of what was to ensue, put the front sight
blade of my rifle right on the coon's butt and curled my index finger
around the trigger, anticipating that I was going to shoot the coon.
And that's when the most strangest thing happened, much to my relief.
The coon dropped down on all fours and made a 90 degree left turn (it
could've been maybe 91 degrees, I'm not sure) and ambled unconcernedly
the full width of the ferret digging grounds. before turning to his
original downhill track and thereby flanked the collected ferrets well
out of range of the peripheral ferrets. The coon continued downhill and
out of sight, never coming closer than 5 feet (well, maybe 5 feet 3 and
1/2 inches, I'm not sure) to the closest ferret.

The ferrets, which I thought were dozing or asleep at their posts or
partially in their holes, became really alive, sniffing the air and
actually pranced around somewhat jittery and straining at their leash
lines. They were aware that they had an encounter of the strangest
kind. The coon had left his telltale scent in the air trailing behind
him. I don't think the ferrets actually eyeballed the coon, but became
totally aroused as a consequence of their superb olfactory sense and
possibly too in that they never ever smelled a coon before. And believe
me, coons are smelly. You'd know that if you'd ever been on a coon hunt
on a cold, dewy night.

Now the neighbor's cat...well that's a different story altogether and
maybe some day I'll tell you about that unfortunate episode. Suffice
it to say here, for the time being, that that cat is the only cat with
two holes in its butt, its natural pooper hole and the other hole, one
0.177 inch in diameter.

Omigod! Will I ever live this down - a butt shooter of cats. Edward,
you should not have let this out of the bag, cause its gonna get you
in hot water with all the pussy fanciers out there.

And for dear Kim, I do hope you enjoyed my ranting and will not take
umbrage at my lucidity and truthfulness.

Yo! Great White Hunter doth speaketh and concludeth with these words
(finally!):

I know you believe you understood what you think I said; however I'm
not sure you realize that what I think you read is not what I meant.

Edward Lipinski, Ferrets North West Foundation.

[Posted in FML 6082]