I wanted to share this true story with all of you.
 
                           A Weasel Halloween
 
On Halloween day, I sent a friend an email to cancel a meeting with
her to to a comedy club and see her brother perform the next evening.
Basically I told her I was disgusted and didn't want to be around people.
I even unplugged my phone because I didn't even want to hear anyone's
voice (one person's in particular).  I tried reading, but though it was
afternoon, I kept dosing off.  I finally gave in and decided to put my
newspaper down and go to sleep.
 
A while after, I hear a very loud banging on my apartment door, like it
was being knocked on with some kind of hard object.  I thought it was one
of my crazy friends, but when I asked who it was a deep voice said, "New
York City Police." So I opened the door.  I should have looked out the
peep-hole first, but I was half asleep.  Standing before me were four
big, and I mean big, cops.  I had no idea what was going on.  They said
they got a call from a friend of mine in N.J. who was worried about me.
 
I just looked at them puzzled saying, "New Jersey??"  The one friend I
have in NJ, I hadn't seen or spoken to in months.  I invited the officers
in because I didn't want the neighbors to think I was some kind of
criminal.  I sat on the sofa while they questioned me about what I did
today and asked what I told my friend.
 
"Oh, the usual," I said.
 
"This friend is in New Jersey?"
 
"No, Woodstock."
 
"Woodstock???" he said.
 
Everyone was confused.
 
"We got a call from someone in New Jersey."
 
"Was it a man or a woman," I asked.
 
"We don't know.  We're trying to find out who it was, " the cop answered.
 
Soon they realized that they didn't need four cops to question a sleepy
small woman, who seemed perfectly fine.
 
"We're gonna go," one said, as two of them proceeded to leave.  When
they opened my apartment door, one jumped and yelled, "What the hell
was that!!!"
 
I couldn't see what was going on.
 
"Don't let it out!" the other cop said,
 
Just as the cop who jumped said, "I thought it was a rat," I saw Rocky
scurry out of the opened door.  In my stupor I had forgotten that Rocky
was sleeping in the bathroom, or I would've closed the door, since
ferrets are still illegal aliens.  I grabbed Rocky just as he was running
out the door, following the cop, and tossed him into the bathroom and
closed the door.
 
One of the two remaining cops asked, "Is that a ferret?"
 
I shuddered with fear as I answered, "Yeah."
 
Then much to my surprise, he said, "Do they make good pets?"
 
"Yes, they do."
 
"Are they good with kids?"
 
"Yeah, they're great with kids."
 
"He scared my partner."
 
The other cop asked if he could look in my bedroom.
 
I said, "Sure," assuming he was looking for signs of an empty bottle of
pills, some fresh razor blades or a noose hanging from the ceiling.  He
walked back into the livingroom and just shook his head to the other cop.
 
As they walked out, the cop who was interested in ferrets asked if I was
going trick-or-treating.
 
"I don't think so.  My trick-or-treating days are over."
 
"Oh, you should come to the parade," he said.  "It's a lot of fun."
 
After they left, I checked my caller ID to find a million calls from the
friend I emailed, who was in Connecticut for the weekend.  She had called
911, thinking that since I wasn't answering my phone and there was no
message, I must be busy trying to kill myself.
 
Leave it to a ferret to supply comic relief to any situation!  I am
still amused that little two-pound Rocky scared a couple of big cops.
But Rocky was not amused.
 
"Rat?  How dare he think I was a rodent!  I eat those things for
breakfast."
 
"Oh Rocky," I said, "don't be too insulted.  It is Halloween after all."
 
The next day, Rocky and I imagined our story in the New York Post.
 
         "WEASEL SCARES NYPD BLUE IN GREENWICH VILLAGE."
[Posted in FML issue 4333]