It seems after every occupation of my territory, the troops of ferrets
have sneakily left landmines along with obstacles to be tripped on.  I am
looking for a few humans that can wander the perimeter of my room and find
the land mines before I do.  With humans' keen sense of smell and large
weight, I figure they can find the landmines, step on them and hop around
with it stuck to their foot until a disposal unit arrives.
 
I have tried dogs, but it seems they tend to add their own landmines on
top of the ferret landmines, making the danger doublefold.  I have tripped
over many wires, purposely placed by the ferret troops, and fallen into
landmines.  It is an ugly sight.  Cats are no good either as they tend to
spray a smelly, napalm like substance on the landmines.
 
So, if you know a few good men (or women) that are willing to take the risk
of stepping in a ferret landmine, send them our way.  Until then it looks
like we will have to invent a ROBOT that won't mind being blown up or
covered in poop.
 
Sincerely,
Stephanie, Chimi & Pepe
 
PS- this post is not meant to undermine landmine dangers, it is a parody of
the real tragedy that exists in landmine usage and the landmines left by
our fuzzy friends (some people think they are equally disgusting).
[Posted in FML issue 2855]