Chris: The deadhead joke was great.  I told it to a friend--teaches quantum
mechanics--and we both almost peed our pants.  Then we tied our hair into
'tails, looked longingly at the bong filled with pennies, turned of the
Dead, and went out for a couple of cold imported beers.  *Bums* HA!  Still
very funny!
 
Hey Paw Paw; you talking 'bout me again?  Well, if you do, make it nasty....
Oh yeah, I never sent the certificate because I was going to be seeing you
soon and I was gonna give to you in person.  Boy are you cranky!  Well, I am
to--must be the age.  I'll turn on an old Donovan record and chill.  (All
tounge in cheek, Bill, all tounge in cheek.)
 
I was talking to some bigwig biologists in London and Berlin yesterday
(about elk and my winter museum trip) and brought up ferrets and polecats.
While one of them thought americans were "strange" for having them as pets ,
both were in agreement about the biological stuff.  This is basically what
is stated in the newest books and journals.
 
In Europe: In general the European polecat is holding its own.  Populations
are larger the more easterly you travel.  It is still hunted for its fur,
but prices are low.  In areas where the American mink has gained a foothold,
local polecat and European mink populations have declined.
 
In the British Isles: The European polecat populations declined dramatically
in the 1950's when nasty bugs were introduced to kill the rabbits.  About
this time, the American mink was running away from the farms, and filling
the local niches.  Today, the polecat is still found in parts of Scotland
and Wales, as well as in small isolated pockets scattered across Britain.
Populations have increased with the return of the rabbit, but many of its
niches have since been filled by American mink, and they are unable to
outcompete the introduced predator.
 
Regarding fitch blood in ferrets.  Well, if you buy the argument that
ferrets have descended from European polecats (and its reasonable although
unproven), then *all* ferrets have fitch blood in them because they are,
well, fitch--just domesticated.  In that manner, dogs are wolves, cats are
wildcats, and sheep are...stupid.  However, population genetics is cool in
the respect that it takes a tremendous amount of introduced genes to be even
noticed in the population as a whole.  Kind of like dropping a single drop
of red food coloring into a full washing machine.  You might have a
noticable effect for a short period of time, but it fades completely after a
while.
 
The thing to remember is that ferrets *are* some kind of domesticated
polecat, and that means that they have essentially the same genetic
structure as the original population with a few minor changes to make us
feel somewhat godlike.  The only traits you will influence are those which
have been modified; less than 1% of the whole.  Unless you maintain
generational crossbreeding, any differences will soon be washed out in the
great genetic pool.  I think it would be safe and accurate to say that ALL
ferrets have (insert politically correct species here) polecat blood in
them.  Besides, the big problem is the yet-to-be-investigated problem of
"Just how much of the ferret hunting behaviors are instinctual, and how much
are learned." If the behaviors desired are learned rather than inherited,
you are wasting your time to crossbreed.  (Yeah, I've read--and
heard--stories supporting this stuff, but then my dad once saw a horse that
could count.  As with most stories, it turned out to be false.)
 
As for the steppe polecat vs European polecat thing.  The steppe polecat has
38 chromosomes, and the ferret and European polecat both have 40.  While I
won't say it can't happen, there is not one reliable reference anywhere that
discusses a successful cross between ferrets and steppe polecats.  In the
very few instances where claims are made, the reliabity of the
identification of the steppe polecat is in question.  Much of coat color is
a response to the environment (genetic inherited traits here), and in those
places where both types of polecats coexist, they tend to look similar.  It
gets to a point where even experts are hard pressed to tell the difference;
you need the DNA, the bacula, or the skull.  I am not alone to suspect the
supposed crosses between steppe polecats and ferrets are in reality between
ferrets and European polecats that just looked like steppe polecats.
 
Now steppe polecats and the black-footed ferret are a different thing
entirely. These species can, and will, successfully interbreed, producing
viable, sexual offspring.  Not long ago, I listened to a presentation
that suggested that the BFF was just a subspecies of the steppe polecat,
and it was quite appealing. I doubt the Wyoming F&G would agree, but they
would also kill all steppe polecats rather that risking a single uncut
one escapeing. (They use steppe polecats--called "Chinese polecats"--to
study the needs of the BFF.)
 
Some of my e-mail was damaged; messages were scrambled, addresses deleted,
who knows what else.  I blamed the server, and they just grinned and said it
could have happened.  So if I don't answer your mail this week, repost it to
me.  In the meantime, someone asked me to describe a cladogram of the
mustelids, and another person asked for a bibliography of mustelid
paleontology.  I have them ready to send, I just need to know who asked.
Someone else asked for all my ferret games in a single post-- sure, but your
name was turned to dejecta ([log in to unmask]; think it could get by?)
 
Bob and the 14 Munching Mustelids, or 15 Bums in the house.
[Posted in FML issue 1604]