This ferret owner currently has 19 ferrets, ranging in age from a kit I
will be getting soon to over 9 years, ruling the roost.  But, he didn t
know what he had until years after his first one spent 11 years of his
life with him.  I got my first little guy, an albino intact male named
Rosco (Full name = Rosco DeLonga AKA Long White Buddy AKA Stinkybutt), in
1980, and he died in 1991.  I treated him like a cat for the most part,
and he followed me around like a dog.  Because I was a photojournalist,
I didn't spend as much time with him as I should, and he spent a lot of
time - maybe a third of his life - at my brother's house when I was
overseas.
 
(Ed. Note [Not an FML editor's note]  When many ferrets are living much
shorter lives than Rosco did, it sounds like this little guy blessed two
people with full, separate lives!)
 
A few years later, he became a ferret owner for the second time.  This
time I had an intense desire to learn more about the little monkeys so I
could care for them the way they were meant to be cared for.  This SECOND
time I had ferrets was an emotional landmark as well, because it was the
first time in my life that ANY pet had moved from highly-regarded object
to beloved family.  " Perhaps the following story illustrates this best.
 
I realized Stella was following me from room to room.  I picked her up,
and she started grooming my eyebrows and face, then curled up to sleep
on my chest.  Soon after, I realized Stella would seek me out, and WANTED
to spend time with me.  No matter what she was doing, or where she was,
if she heard my voice or smelled my aftershave, she would bound over and
snuggle into my arms.  She wasn't there because of food, but because of
personal preference.  I'd owned lots of pets before, from dogs to horses,
but NONE was ever as dear to me as Stella became.  Stella can be
considered the ferret responsible for my decision to spend so much time
investigating the needs of ferrets.
 
That explains why this featured speaker is a zooarchaeologist (someone
who studies animal bones) working on issues of prehistoric diet and
domestication.  A frequent contributor to the FML, and a lively
conversationalist who isn t afraid of educational debate, this student
is known to many of you.  If you haven't met him, take a few moments
at the Symposium in Atlanta with Bob.  After all, he is there to share
truthful information about ferrets that may improve their lives.  Or,
to meet hot chicks.
 
This self-proclaimed ornery little fireplug with a love of Hawaiian
shirts and an extreme dislike of the California Fishin' Gestapo has his
own idea of fun to be had in Atlanta.  I was thinking I would stand
outside the CNN window holding a sign that said "The CaCaLand Fishin'
Gestapo Can Kiss My Ass!" then turning around and mooning them.  Anybody
care to join Bob Church?
[Posted in FML issue 4210]