Just Kidding!
 
Hi, Doug Gerald, et al, here again.  Greetings from snowy Alaska.
 
While I am waiting for additional information to help us fight that School
District ban on ferrets, I will share a story with you.
 
I am reminded of a grizzled old trapper and his leather-skinned wife who had
a ferret with a wooden leg.  They lived just off the Kobuk River, about six
miles north of the Great Kobuk Sand Dunes.  I ran into them about a year ago
while hunting for caribou.  His name was Jeb, and the feret's name was
Willow.
 
He had carefully crafted the wooden appendage from an old fashioned hardwood
clothes pin, and attached to Willow's right rear with a leather patch and
thong.  It worked suprisingly well.  Naturally, I was taken aback by the
sight, and asked the sinewy old man how it came to be.
 
He said, "Son, it's the darnest thing.  That ferret is jest shy of three
year, and he's a saved our hides more time than you can shake birch twig at."
 
Jeb sat down on the gravel river bank and continued.
 
"Why jest four months ago, our little cabin caught a fire, and this
righteous animal clawed his way into the bedroom.  Yes sir, ol' Willow
commenced to a tuggin' and a pullin' on my wife's pajama leg.  That ferret
danced around and clucked and hissed until we was woke up, and were able to
escape and put the fire out ...  the darndest thing."
 
I expressed my amazement, and asked if that is how it got the wooden leg.
 
"Nope.", he said, "But 'bout a month ago a mangy ol' drifter broke into our
cabin an commenced to steal my wife's purse while we was away a pikkin'
berries.  Willow come a chargin out his hidey-hole, opened wide, and
attached hisself to the seat of the man's britches and bute-okes.  The
terrified thief ran out the cabin post haste ...  with the purse in hand and
the dangling ferret havin drawed blood.  Little Willow did not let go for
three miles, until the purse was dropped."
 
"Why heck, son, it took that furry animal two and a half days to drag the
purse, contents intact, back to the cabin."
 
I asked if *that* was how he got the wooden leg!
 
Jeb said. "Nope, and I was jest comin' to that."
 
" I am a trapper, son.  Been one most my life.  Out here we use animals for
food as well as fur ... ain't nothin goes to waste, I can tell ya that."
 
I interrupted and exclaimed that surely he made exceptions for noble animals
such as this!
 
He continued (tugging at the little wooden leg), "Son, son, I ain't no
idget!  One furry critter's 'bout the same as the next, I 'spose, but when
ya got a ferret this good, I mean when ya got a ferret *this* good ..."
 
"Ya kinda wanna eat him *re-e-eal* slow."
 
Just Kidding!
Give me a break, I'm sensitive and have feelings too.
 
Take care,
 
Doug, Sue, & Penny - Lori, Tory, & Shadow
[Posted in FML issue 1490]