My name is Lupi, and I know how to write, too.  I live with 2 humans and 4
ferrets.  It sounds like you guys don't know about the ferrets' food, so I
will tell you.  Their food is great!  It tastes much better than dog food,
but for some reason Mom and Dad don't put any of it in my dish.  I will
give you some tips on how to get the ferrets' food and snacks.
 
First, you have to pay attention at all times.  Listen carefully, even when
you're dozing off.  Here's what to listen for:
 
         1.  raisin box rattling
         2.  cellophane rustling
         3.  a piece of food hitting the floor
         4.  humans talking to the ferrets
 
Whenever you hear any of these sounds, get up and check immediately.  Grab
whatever is on the floor.  Check the cage to see if any food pieces are
near the edge.  You can reach them with your tongue.  If Mom and Dad are
giving the ferrets raisins or Ferret-bites or Cheerios, look up with a sad
look in your eyes.  They will give you one, too.
 
The best way to get LOTS of ferret food is when the cage door is left open
(I don't think the humans do this on purpose).  Whenever the ferrets are
let out of the cage, wait until all the humans have gone away.  You don't
want them to catch you, or they will stop you.  Then go check the cage
door.  If it's a lucky day, the door will be open!  Squeeze through as far
as you can go.  There will be lots of food in little bowls.  Some will be
scattered on the floor.  Eat all of this quickly before the humans come
back.  It's great food.  I know you'll love it.
 
From Lupi
[Posted in FML issue 1242]