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Date:
Fri, 4 May 2012 11:12:40 -0400
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I hope I don't make anyone feel as if I'm "talking about them"
specifically when I say what I'm about to. I'm not. I'm not even paying
attention to who the authors are when people chatter. I notice, but its
not something that sticks with me. I just want to say something in the
most general sense to everyone involved, in hopes of giving some people
some insight into what is going on.

This is what I have seen over a very long course of time. In the
past, I have seen people who have suffered a sad turn of events with
their ferrets who questioned the Des implant. Just as they questioned
everything else that happened along with the incident in question.
I saw knowledgeable people who wanted to help and generously step
forward. But, often times, very experienced, intellectual and
professional people don't always know quite how to .. handle a
sensitive social situation. What they say is polite, informative and
correct. But what they don't realize is the underlying tone and that
their approach sounds defensive of a product or science to some. It
doesn't help when the conversation isn't preceded with a heart felt
sympathetic statement. And then by something even more personal that
shows you relate to that person and their pet. Whenever approaching
a person who believes in something, in this case it may be that a
des implant caused something bad, its best to start off with an open
mind and seeing it from their side. Put your own assumptions and
beliefs aside for just one minute. When someone doesn't start off the
conversation that way, the person doesnt' feel as if they were heard
or taken seriously. You come across as defensive, sometimes even
aggressively so with your statements. This makes the individual become
emotional and dig their heels in. To be heard, they resort to being
"louder" or more dramatic. Meanwhile, the other person is completely
blind to the fact that even though they didn't do anything wrong
necessarily that they instigated a debate.

The hurt person sees the other person as being argumentative and only
caring about their scientific belief. The helpful person sees the other
person as being alarmist and emotional. Bad juju.

There has been a very slow burning smoldering fire over the course of
a very long time because people were to intimidated to step forward.
They saw others being met with arguments. So they hung back. Talk
about making the grounds ripe for rumor, belligerence, and everything
else bad you can think of. I venture to say that people who are "in
the know", have no clue this has being going on to the extent it has.
That is because they are the last people some would go to with their
concerns because they are too scared to be met with nay saying.

The result is many people believe there is a panic or bandwagon. When
this began it definitely wasn't a panic even though others said it was.
People who came forward were concerned and confused and wanted to talk.
A FB page was made so people could freely vent and exchange ideas. That
isnt' panic. A bandwagon hadn't been created "yet" (and has yet to as
far as I know). A bandwagon means that others are jumping onto support
something in popularity. I don't see people who have no experience with
Des implants or dog in the fight blindly shouting "yeah! They're bad,
look at what happened to so and so". I see many people on the web
trying to squash fires. But poorly so. They are so fixated on 'stoping
the panic' and being right, that they don't see that they themselves
are fanning the flames. They are panicking that there is a panic!!!!
Well now things are indeed breaching over to that. What do they say?
Say something enough and you self prophesize?

Please, by saying someone is on the bandwagon or panicking, you are
making them feel unheard, unvalidated (yeah I made up that word, leave
me alone), disbelieved and put down. I don't care if they ARE panicked.
That is the wrong way of approaching a situation. You'll find if you
show people that you are listening and truly, truly considering what
they believe (even if its wrong) ... then they'll most often relax,
take a breath and then turn and listen to you. It may take time and
you may have to be patient ... these people have been through a lot
and have been frustrated by others.

Wolfy

[Posted in FML 7416]


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