Bob here; had so many requests about Stella and the rest of the business
I thought I would get everyone up to date (Well, ok, maybe three requests,
but, hey, any reason to write, right?).
 
Stella is doing very good, and has discovered several new ways to manipulate
me, mostly be staring.  I swear she can stare down a photograph...I can't
take it any more!  I now feed her by hand, talking, stroking, cooing, and
singing to her the entire time.  When she is finished, she lifts her head so
I can wipe her chin.  Seriously.  And I do.  She has regained all lost
weight, and is putting on more.  Today she danced all over the front room,
and like a nervous first-time father, I followed close behind in case she
should stumble.
 
Moose has decided running is fun.  He sprints from one side of the room to
the other, and does it several times in a row.  It's really funny when in
the middle of a sprint he gets a mystery itch.  He spins around to bite his
butt, but has forgotten to stop first.  As a result, he wipes out, legs
sprawling and tail flying.  He then jumps up, war dances like crazy looking
for the fiend that tripped him up, and is off sprinting again.
 
Daye is beautiful, all soft and petite and friendly.  The sweetest thing,
and with a gorgeous mask.  For more than an hour, I tried to take her
picture, but she would have nothing to do with it.  I started to wonder if
anyone would find her broken and twisted body deep in the woods, or if
coyotes would just eat it, when she spun around, sat down just like a cat,
and yawned.  Great shot.  She shall live to dook another (dare I say it?)
day.
 
Tori is a teenaged girl without the telephone.  Sometimes all I want to do
is marry her off, but that's not possible, is it?  For the last few days,
she has been climbing the blinds, using the slats as a makeshift ladder.
And for what?  She discovered she could climb the blinds to the top of the
curio hutch where the treats are kept.  She then plows the tin off the top,
climbs (or falls, about 50-50) down, and works the lid off.  Suddenly,
carpet snakes are over the place, mouths full of jerky, dashing for the
hidey-hole.  If any of the others figure out how she's doing it, we're
gonners.  (I KNOW I can move it, but its so hypnotic to watch....)
 
Bear got his booty kicked by the KC3 males.  Several times.  The only thing
hurt was his pride, so he slunk around until he found me, then hid under my
shirt.  Poor baby.  As soon as his fur was dry, out he came to try again.
The funny thing is, he's stronger and bigger than anyone else, he justs
lacks the confidence.  Today he just sprawled on the couch, watching the KC3
males rough and tumble.  I told him it was ok, that he was just a quaker
ferret.  (If they bite thy right cheek, turn to them thy left?)
 
And speaking of turning cheeks, I saw Buddy do something I had only seen in
skunks and mink.  When Bear was temporarily winning, Buddy turned, and put
his butt right in Bears face.  Bear just stopped and looked confused, then
went after him again.  Buddy repeated the maneover.  Several times.  I soon
discovered that each time, he had squirted a little "anal juice" right on
Bear's nose.  Not much, but definately some.  Besides demonstrating the
finer points of biological warfare, Buddy has put on 1/4 lb since arriveing,
and his hair is thickening on his back and tail.  And he tries to hide my
hand in his hidey-hole.  Cool.
 
Foster has also put on weight, almost 1/2 lb!  The guy is 8-years-old, but
is the business manager, if you know that I mean.  Some people in the house
have begun calling him booger, because he has a pink nose with one little
dark spot over the left nostril, and it likes like, well, you get the idea.
At least it better than brown-nose....Foster chuckles constantly while
playing, and is sometimes called the joker.
 
Apollo and Razz are both doing well, but I have discovered something about
their condition I never thought of before.  Apollo is missing his top
canines, and Razz was declawed.  Both conditionds are tremendous handicaps
for the ferrets.  Neither one can compete in the dominance game as
effectively as the others.  When Apollo goes for the neck, the others just
roll over; without the canines, the grip is easily broken.  He is strong and
brave and big, he just can't play the game was well, so he loses.  I even
thought of caps, but the teeth are broken off at the gum line, and I don't
think he would tolerate a bridge.  I have started giving him a little extra
attention.  Another problem I've discovered about the broken teeth is that
the top canines hold the top lips out, and without them the lips curve
inwards, almost inside the mouth.  If Apollo closes his mouth too fast, his
lower canines jab into his top lip.  Looking close, I can see healed scars
which must have been made this way.  So now, every night, I check his lips.
It looks weird, but I do it anyway.
 
Razz was declawed, and has similar problems with social integration.  While
she can bite, she lacks claws for hanging on, and can't keep her grip.  She
is the lowest on the totempole, so I also give her extra time.  When she
came home, the hair on her tail was very sparse--it is now coming in full!
Her butt has also grown somewhat, so she looks more like a bowling pin than
a ferret.  She will come when called, but she is still scared of everyone
else.  The declawing has caused other problems as well.  She can't hold toys
very well, she absolutely cannot climb, so she is always running around,
looking for a way to get up to the other ferrets.  She has a hard time
picking up things with her paws.  Its very sad.  However, Razz and Apollo
have become fast buddies, sticking together most of the time.
 
Overall, things are looking smoothly.  While Buddy and Foster are still not
fully a part of the group, they are slowly moving in.  It has been worth all
the trouble and work, and I will never give them up.
 
BTW, if you think I drop a pun or two, just drop Jeff Johnston a line.
Believe me, after reading his last e-mail, I was severely pun-ished.
Perhaps, if you crave such tweaks of the brain, you can beg him to send you
a copy of the punny pages he sent me.  But don't expect to see him in the
punster's chair, with nearly-nekkid girlies fanning him with ostrich
feathers.  I will respond to the challenge....dook dook dook.
 
Bob (-o)
Moose, Stella, Daye, Tori, Bear, Apollo, Foster, Buddy, and Razz.
 
Moose says, "I'm going to Stella you once and furo all, and Bear with me
hair, be Bob's Buddy and Foster no ill will, or I will Tori you up, and
Razz you all Daye long. It will be an Apolloing sight, so I Mustela you
to be nice!"
 
(Ok, I already used it in an e-mail, but too good to use only once...;-) )
[Posted in FML issue 1393]