Debi: I hope you can read this; it took quite some time for me to decide to
post on this because I am normally quite quiet regarding personal matters.
I am so compelled to maintain privacy that I will often invent stories
rather than allow people into my personal space. I am also very
"protective" of animals (as well as people, BTW). I am a dedicated pacifist
(Human and non-human; I have never even fished), but admit that several
times I have been moved to violence, all have been the result of stepping
between a bully and their victim.
The few times I've mentioned being raised on a farm, I never mentioned that
I wasn't BORN there. The fact is, I was PLACED there at the age of 9 after
being removed from a life of sexual and physical abuse. When I married (18
years next January!) it was with the understanding that adoption would be
part of our long term plans, and 8 years ago my family adopted an older
brother and sister pair (10 and 11) removed from a situation similar to the
one I experienced.
The reason I am sharing this is because abusers will not willingly stop the
pain they inflict on others. Also, if not stopped early, the abuse will
only become worse, and spread to you. If you care for this person,
yourself, or the ferrets (or even if you do not), you must first remove
yourself and the beasties from this situation into an anonymous home or
halfway house. Second, you must report this abuse to the police; if they
need to, they will inform other agencies including animal welfare agencies.
Third, you must never trust this person if they say it will never happen
again, because it probably will; abusers show tremendous remorse after the
fact and just before it is repeated. Just remember, you are not stealing
the ferrets, you are saving them, as yourself.
Debi, the ferrets are not the only living creatures in danger here. Just
leaving is not the solution because the abuser will only direct abuse
towards someone else. Call a local abuse hotline and ask them how many
abusers started out by harming pets or other animals.
I play rough with several of my beasties--Moose and Tori love it--but
neither I nor the beasties harm each other, and I never play quite as rough
as the beasties become between themselves. Physical violence will only
teach fear, distrust, and hate.
I am sorry for using the FML to spread such a personal message; this has
been extremely uncomfortable for me, and a violation of my personal space.
Making fun of oneself is one thing, but allowing people to see your scars
risks allowing them to know where you are particularly vulnerable. It is my
hope that Debi will see the message on this forum. If I had her address, I
would write directly, but the influx of so many hate e-mails caused my
e-mailbox to dump my earlier messages, including last FMLs. (BTW, if I
don't answer anything you sent me, it might have been dumped. Please repost
it. Also, If you use an anonymous address, it might automatically bounce
back; I can no longer recieve some anonymous mail as of today. Well,
yesterday by time you read this.)
One other thing. It was brought to my attention that on an earlier post I
wrote "Pubicly flamed" instead of "Publicly flamed." I don't know if this
was an honest typo, dyslexia, or the post lost some data; my original
message was deleted from my box. However, I would never intentionally write
such a thing, and it wasn't a Freudian slip. I'm very sorry to whomever I
offended. Tomorrow I will post a funny story to make up for this extremely
bad (and distasteful) goof. Sorry.
Debi, if you need someone to talk to please write or call collect. I will
help all I can.
Bob and 13 wacky fuzzies
[log in to unmask]
PO Box 1988
Columbia MO 65205-1988
314-446-6482 or 314-446-8392.
PS: I know giving out my phone number is a risk, but you are worth it Debi.
Also, any coward can hide behind anonymous addresses to do nasty deeds. If
the person sending the hate e-mails decides to risk using the phone,
well....lets just say "Caller ID", tape-recorders, harrassment laws, and
FBI. Get the picture, der Kotkopf?
[Posted in FML issue 1401]
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