Last night I stayed up late to vacuum, scrub, wax, rehang drapes, put on
electrical outlet plates, and started moving furniture.  I woke up early to
move cages into the room just painted.  Everything is now in a different
spot than it was before.
 
I let the ferrets free roam all night: but they were tired and fell asleep
as soon as I turned out the lights.  After locking them all in their cages
this morning, I felt I was not giving them the chance to explore their new
layout.  Even slight changes get my guys all excited.  So I opened the cage
doors and ran out the door to work.
 
When I arrived home, it was dark.  As I opened my door-it hit something
large and solid.  Scared the *&^% out of me.  There is no way anything
solid is there to hit.
 
My heart was beating fast-let me tell you.  I could not even open the door
all the way.  I got to the light switch, and discovered that a door I never
open was wide open.  It is not only always kept closed: it is also always
securely latched.
 
This door leads to the furnace and water heater and to a large hole leading
God knows where.  Thus-the latch.
 
My home looked broken into.  Garbage was strewn everywhere.  I have 4
garbage containers.  They were not only tipped over.  The contents were
COmpletely removed to smear the floors.
 
A bag of litter on a dresser was on its side Litter was poured into the
drawer of clothes.  Litter from all the litter boxes was kicked out and
spread all over the floors I had stayed up late to wash and wax.
 
Urine and poop were in multiple spots on the new tile floor.  I was so
afraid.
 
I closed the door with the latch, and desperately began my search for
everyone, realizing that if one of my little ones fell down the hole --
there was probably no way to save my baby.
 
I was lucky: very lucky.  I was even able to find my two little deaf guys
curled up together within minutes.
 
As I was searching, Sunny and the Lovely ferret popped up and began chasing
each other in and out of the garbage containers.  I know that this may not
be fair.  But I think Sunny did most of this.  I also think that he somehow
unlatched my door.  Someone also disabled my answering machine.
 
But WORSE;
I do not think I saved the life of a Mustela putorius furo a few months
back.  I believe I have saved that rare dangerous subspecies: the Ferrito
Terriblus Distructofundomous.
 
Only one other of this subspecies of ferret has ever been discovered thus
far.  This was in Greece in the spring of 1982.  It was a male-then given
the Greek name: Poopadoopa-oopa TroubleLotalopalous.  It destroyed a
village, and then disappeared.
 
I think a relative of his is here now.  Here-living in my home.
 
And now that I know that everyone is safe: I am thinking of dissecting
FunnySunnyRhino Mud: Ferret Horriblus tonight to be sure.
 
It won't be easy. I am up against a wily and cunning opponent.
 
If you never hear from me again:
They will probably find my body trapped in the furnace room.
Lisette
[Posted in FML issue 3119]