Dear Ferret Folks-
Poor Hebert. He is sooo....stupid. He really is. I call him "Hebert"
or a Frenchified "Ayber"(a la Renee Downs), but my husband calls him
"Moron." And I can't really argue the point. At least the husband calls
him "Moron" with affection, not ridicule. There is something about our
albino friend that makes you feel protective of him, because he is just
so in over his ears, every day in every way.
I believe I have mentioned that we have a tube system that connects to
our ferret cage. Four inch wide black ridged landscaping tubing from
Home Depot. It rises from the side of the cage, punches through the
ferret room wall at ceiling height, then continues along the ceiling
in the living room for a good twenty feet, maybe twenty five. It has
little plastic grates, or viewing ports that ferrets like to look out
of when they are up there. It is always interesting to have
non-ferret-people visitors come to my house and see the tubing in my
living room. Even more interesting when a ferret takes that moment
to rush through it at full blast, making a noise like a small subway
train. Cheap entertainment!
We installed the tubing system when we moved here a few years ago. Ping
and Puma used it many times every day. And when they passed (I miss you
guys, even Puma!) Todd made extensive use of it. It is long enough that
a ferret can run at top speed, and I think that this is marvelous
exercise for them. Plus, it means that they have a really large cage
habitat. They are not just stuck in a box. You can't really run in a
cage, feel the press of the wind against your whiskers! They do get
lots of out time evey day, but I feel better knowing that they can
run in their plastic burrow, if I am not at home.
Everything changed when Hebert came to live with us. He could
understand UP...climbing UP that tube, veeery slowly, and into the
living room. He wanted to do that, to explore. But for the life of him,
he couldn't figure out how to get down. I would find him up by one of
the viewing ports, hot, sweaty, and miserable. Once he wet himself up
there. I would have to remove the plastic grate to rescue him. I kept
thinking "Surely he will figure it out, he is a *ferret*, for heavan's
sake!" but he never did. Reluctantly, we disengaged the tube from the
side of the cage. It was a Hebert trap, and that was cruel. And I was
sorry for Todd's sake.
Well, time passed and something interesting happened. One day we got
a package of Totally Ferret for Kits in the mail, a gift from my
Anonymous Benefactor, (whoever you are!) These come in the mail every
few weeks. And tucked into one of the boxes was a foil package of
chicken treats in stick form. I don't remember the manufacturer. I
think the package was pink. I am not a great feeder of treats, but just
for fun I opened the package and offered the boys a chicken stick each.
The boys were instantly in love with those things! Each would take
the little beige stick in their mouth and run away, to munch in the
darkness beneath the furniture. Their primary concern seemed to be a
fear that the other would take it away, so the sticks were consumed at
opposite ends of the house. Then they would run back to me, hoping for
another handout. No luck, there. I am stingy with treats. But I did get
an idea...
The old piece of tubing that ran from the cage up to ceiling level was
about seven feet long. It was just lying around on the floor of the
ferret room, underfoot. Todd liked to play in it, so I wasn't in a
hurry to find it a permanent home. Hebert never touched it. Well, I
touched it. I held one end up a few feet off of the floor, and stuffed
a wildly resisting Hebert nose first down it. Once he got a foot along
into the tube, he found....a chicken stick. I let him enjoy it, then
I shook him out of the tube. This was a lengthy process! He fought
like heck. He was so aftraid of being in the tube because he didn't
understand that he could leave it under his own power. He only knew
a tube as a trap. The next day I again stuffed him in nose first, and
TWO feet into the tube, he found...you guessed it. A delicious chicken
stick. The next day, three feet, and he didn't fight nearly as hard. He
munched his stick, walked out under his own power. He looked absolutely
astonished to come out the other end without any struggle!
By the time I ran out of chicken sticks, Hebert was running back and
forth through the tube freely, playing chase with Todd. I sweet-talked
my husband into re-installing the tube onto the side of the cage. He
had grave misgivings. He was afraid that Hebert would just climb up
again and get stuck. Nope. Hebert climbed up the tube veeeeery slowly,
ran around up there, and climbed down nose first at about a two feet a
minute. By comparison, Todd runs down it at hyper-relativistic speeds!
But the boys have tube, now, and I feel so much better knowing this.
I have no idea why "down" is so hard for Hebert. He has trouble
climbing down things like chairs and other furniture. He always goes
nose first, very slowly. Todd, by comparison simply hurls himself with
an athletic leap, and hits the ground running. I had an albino once
many years ago, Maya the Moose, Mighty Digger of Dirt. She had no
trouble with down that I recall, although we did not yet have a tube
system. A vision problem related to albinism? I had a blind ferret who
didn't miss a beat, Sabrina the Bat Biter, who lost her vision with
age. I just don't know what Hebert's problem is. But now, thanks to
the delicious chicken sticks, he has *tube*, and tube is good!
Alexandra in MA
[Posted in FML 6251]
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