It is with more sadness than I could ever imagine that I write this post.
I am ashamed and guilt ridden.  All of the advice and sympathies I've ever
extended to anyone in their time of need are of no use for I myself have
fatally failed one of my own fur kids.  There isn't even much consolation
in the whole Rainbow Bridge concept.  All I feel is that he is cold and
dead and should be warm and comfy in his hammy.  Saturday I found my Buddy
Loove lethargic.  I rushed him to the ER center where they started spouting
all of the $1000s of dollars in possibilities.  I freaked out and brought
him home (mistake # 2) until Dr. Goodman opened his office on sunday
morning.  He stayed at Dr. Goodman's for awhile to be observed, he seemed
to improve a little after being treated for Gastritis and they recommended
that I take him home until his xrays could be done on monday morning.  I
prepared the rest of my day to be dedicated to hanging by the side of my
Buddy Loove and nursing him through the night.  We could camp out on the
living room floor.
 
By the time I got there he started to rasp and have trouble breathing.  I
flew him up to Falls Rd.  emergency.  10 minutes from the hospital however,
he died in my arms.  I ran in with him anyway but it was too late.  I
decided on a necropsy because I felt it necessary to know and for the
ferret community to learn.  If it helps at least one ferret life it would
be worth it.  They found a cherry pit lodged in his small intestine.  They
got into my lunch bag and into my bag of cherries weeks ago.  I found them
in what I thought was enough time, cleaned up the whole play area and
thought it to be free from cherries.  What I didn't know is that they had
already succesfully stashed some of them in places where I couldn't see.
I am questioning everything at this point.  What if I had left him at the
emergency center to do their thousands of dollars of work?  (I've been
told by Dr. Goodman that they would have had to put him down anyway.  Not
sure, but I believe he's just trying to make me feel better).  What if Dr.
Goodman hadn't waited to do the xray's until monday?  What if the tech had
answered the door more quickly when I went to pick him up sunday?  What if
I didn't have to use the friigin bathroom before taking him to Falls Road
ER?What if every moron on the road knew that emergency flashers and a
blowing horn means to get the f out of the way and let me pass?  What if I
hadn't taken the wrong way on the Falls Rd.  exit?  What if I hadn't opened
my heart to these needy furkids to begin with?  All I have to look forward
to now is the grief of the passing of the other 7.  How does the heart go
on?  How do I explain this to my nephew Zach who is only 5.
 
Of all of the ferrets I have, Buddy Looove was his pal.  I told him
yesterday and explained about the Rainbow Bridge, but I don't think it
sunk in.  It probably won't until he comes out to my house again to visit.
How do you console a child of that age and innocence when you yourself
are unconsolable?  If a river of tears could bring back my baby, he'd be
in my arms right now.  Sandee, would you and Arby please welcome him to
the Bridge?  He can be kind of a bully to other fuzzies.  He'll take some
patience and alot of understanding.  Tell him that we love and miss him.
 
Kim Fox
[Posted in FML issue 3489]