With love I held him as I let him go-----
 
On a cold & windy December 9th morning, I Kringle's forever and always
Mama, and his Auntie Suzanne, held his precious little paws between our
trembling fingers, and said good-bye as Kringle left for his journey to
the Bridge.  No more pain, no more humiliation of having to have someone,
a HUMAN no less, clean him up each time he poo-ed.  Kringle was a proud
boy and I know he must have been so upset with this.  Now he has the
strong legs he needs to walk away from such "occurences" (but do ferts
poo up at the Bridge??)  Now he has the legs to dance and hop.  Now he
is free of his earthly, neurologically compromised body.  His body may
have failed him, but he never lost that look of knowing just how spoiled
I had let him become!!  He KNEW!  I always let him run around and
investigate our living room and kitchen, but not my other kids.  And ya
know, I swear, he'd lay on a rug in the kitchen,( his all time favorite
place to be!) with his wobbly head held up high and proud.  He seemed to
have this look like, " I get to be in the kithchen!  I get to be here on
this rug and they don't!!!!  Even though my Kringle boy had many physical
problems to deal with, he always had a happy little twinkle, that very
same twinkle that came from the man he was named after.  It was only in
his last hours that that spark left his eyes, he was so tierd.
 
Kringle came to me from our shelter, FBOG.  Jullianna, who runs the
shelter asked me if I could ferret-sit him while she had to go out of
town.  The very moment I saw him, I fell hard.  Because of his neuro
problems, he constantly moved his head in a slight swaying motion.  And
OH!!!...., when he would look up at me, when he was out, surveying, he
would look up with this little cock-eyed look, it could bring even the
most hardened criminal to his knees.  I have had many ferrets over the,
excuse me, many ferrets have had me over the last nine years, but I
have to say that Krinkle was the most unique.  His problems made his
personality.  That boy surely knew how to work it!
 
We never really knew just how old he was, maybe 4 or 5.  We never really
knew his background.  We only knew, that he had been found, and brought
to Julianna.  When Julianna returned,from her trip, I think she knew what
was coming.  I just couldn't give him back, I was in love, hook, line,
and sinker.  Julianna allowed me to become his permanent foster mom!
YAY!  Kringle joined my fuzzy family, permanently!!
 
He never did blend in however.  It wasn't so much that he was aggressive
toward anyone else, which is what I had sort of thought in our early days
together.  I figured out by really watching him, his facial expressions,
his body language, he was just plain scared of the other ferrets.  I'm
not sure he knew he was a ferret.  So, from then on, I never tried to get
him accustomed to the others.  He had a one bedroom, penthouse all of his
own on top of the other fuzzies house.  I think he was a very happy boy.
 
At first, all he wanted to do is stay on my lap.  He was nice and filled
out, his coat was so soft, I thought, Cool, I ve always wanted a lap
fert.  BUT THEN, after a week or so, he wanted no part of this sitting
around stuff!  He wanted down!!, NOW!  When he first came to me, when
it was time to come out and "play" I always had to get him out of his
hammie.  BUT THEN.  he began to meet me at his door, waiting calmly to
come out.  BUT THEN!!!,....... He was meeting me at his door just like
a real fert!!  Climbing the bars, watching every single move I made,
digging at the floor, I could almost hear him shouting!!, Out, out,
NOW!!!!!!!l let me out!!  I want out, NOW!!!!  I was thrilled to say
the least!!  I knew then that all the love that I had been showering
him with, was working.  He had begun to be a happy fert.  From the very
instant he became a permanent part of my family. (not just permanent in
my home, but permanentl a part of my heart, forever.)  My only thought
was that I was going to make up for all of bad things in his past by
spoiling him rotten, and that I did!!!  He deserved it.  Actually he
deserved more, and now he has it.
 
I just came in from our ferret cemetary where all of Kringle's departed
sisters and brothers are.  Now, he too is there.  Today, Saturday,
December 10th, my husband and I layed his weary body, just a empty shell
where Kringle used to be, to rest by his sister Oskie.  Now, my Kringle
boy, my boy who cast aside whatever troubles and pains he had before he
came to me, who absorbed every drop of my adoration and pride that I
had for him.  My boy who became a happy, loving boy despite it all, is
completely free, completely whole, and living the way each and every
ferret should, dancin' and dookin' and palyin' with friends at the
Bridge.  And oddly enough, as sad as I am, I am also happy.  Happy that
now he can do whatever he wants without lugging around that old broken
body.
 
Thank you Kringle.  Thank you for touching my heart in the short time we
were together, so deeply.  Thannk you for being someone to joke with, and
commiserate with about our messed up bodies.  You were a warrior, my Bud!
I hope that by now, you've rested from your journey to the Bridge and
have been able to find Princess,Tori, Oscar ,Samantha, Smokey, Bandit, &
Boots.  These are all of your family, your brothers and sisters.  I'll
be with you again someday , but until then they'll take care of you, and
teach you all the good tricks that you need to know, like visiting.  I
hope that you learn visiting well because I really would like to know how
you're doing.  Kringle, above all else, I hope that I was able to make up
for at least some of the hardships and heartaches you must have had in
your life before me.  I never had to try very hard though because you
were so very, very easy to love.
 
Lastly, Julianna,( or if anyone else from our shelter reads this & could
convey to her this message.)  Julianna, I can't thank you enough.  Over
used words but so true just the same.  Thank you for allowing Kringle to
be a part of my family.  He gave me so much love, and so much happiness.
He was one unique fuzzy-boy.  Although his time with me was short, he
left his paw print on my heart very deep and permanent.  All that I got
from him, I got because of you.  Thank you.
 
Sandee, I know by now my boy Kringle has crossed the Bridge.  If you
have a minute, could you please let me know that he made it okay?  He was
pretty worn out so he probably needed a helping paw.  Could you please
give him the best hug & kiss you've got & let him know that I love him
so much, and I miss him even more?  Thank you.
 
Suzanne, Thank you for taking care of me during Kringle's last day, &
especially the day of..... Kringle had a deep impact on me, and on my
heart.  I didn't know just how much untill then..
 
Thank you to all of you, who have sent me such kind words of condolence.
I wish you could have known Kringle, he really was one very unique &
special ferret-boy.
 
Thank you, my FML family.  Yours kind thoughts and prayers mean so much.
 
It never gets any easier, does it???
 
Sue
[Posted in FML issue 5089]