Dear  Ferrets,
 
Mom left us all alone for days locked in cages and I barely escaped with my
life cause this person called lazy dumb girl only came a few times.  This
is called a vay-cay-shon.
 
Mom came home early to find we had been given an entire large box of treats
that give us something called die-a-ree-ah.  We spray painted poop all over
her white walls and carpet and our blankets.  The cage bars are coated with
hardened smelly substances.  I was especially creative I guess cause I
pooped green slime right when Mom let me out of the cage.
 
Mom hugged me the longest.  To be most popular with your human, try
expressing different colors, fellow ferrets.  Bright shiny Green is a
hugging kissing color.
 
Have to try some new spots to spray paint to surprise her.  She spends a
lot more time hanging around on the floor when we utilize our creative
appendages in a manor befitting a ferret.
 
Little is the most inspiring talent among us.  Any area can be used by this
talented young ferret as his canvass.  Mom is just thrilled when he is
exhibiting.  I can hear her even though I am in another room shouting words
of inspiration and praise: you know, using the Lords name a lot.
 
The water was most foul and filthy, I was very thirsty, and we were covered
in x-kre-ment when Mom came home.  We all got baths and we got to stay up
until 2 in the morning with Mom.!!!!  Then she syringe fed all of us.
There was leaping and hopping and running everywhere.
 
Mom said I was too skin-knee, and has been carrying me around in my papoose
all day today.  I do not want to look too healthy-as I am a delicate
princess-so I am limp and mostly sleeping.
 
I can hear her as she is reviewing another art display in the kitchen.  It
must be most excellent.  But Mom will be back soon.  Gotta run.  This pile
of new clothing Mom brought home looks just perfect.
 
Mom says that she is grey-full for all of your prayers beyond words.  She
must be saving those to critique our creations.
 
Princess Baby
[Posted in FML issue 2775]