Whew!  We is slap worn out!.  Friday night we marched in the Opening
Cerymoanies of the Olympics.  Just as we camed down that big ol' ramp, the
TV people putted somethin' on the TV about some frogs ridin' a swamp lizard
into a beer joint.  Then a bunch of other folks talked about stuff that they
had did.  Paw Paw said that we ain't never gonna buy nothin' from them folks
on account of because they kept the world from seein' us marchin' in with
all the other athletes.  We still had a heck of a good ol' time.
 
We was especially impressed when that Muhammed Ali guy gotted to light the
big ol' flame.  Paw Paw just leaned real hard on his cane and blubbered like
a baby.  He does that a lot when something really touches his ol' heartbone.
We was blubberin' too.  It was a very special moment for us.
 
Anyaway, the next morning we gotted to take our physicals and Pee Pee test.
The people doctor looked kinda confused when we presented ourselves for
examination.  Then he felted our noses, checked our ears and admired our
bushy tails.  We managed to steal most of his doctor stuff before he was
done with us.  We still ain't sure why he made us pee in a corner.  Cookie
and Tater finger he must have been readin' the FML and knowed all about
Odie's carrot problem.  Anywho, we passed all the tests and and gotted
approved for competition.
 
We did make one interesting discovery during all the doctor stuff.  Turns
out that Cookie is a girl-type ferret!  Ruh roh!  Guess Rosie and Maxie is
gonna get all jealous now!  We hopes that they believes us when we says that
our only interest in Cookie is as a member of the Carrotball Team.  She's
the best nose bumper we gots.  Well, she is kinda cute....
 
Well, next day Mee Maw tooked the three of us down to watch some of the
Olympic events.  Paw Paw stayed home because his laig has done disappered
and he's tryin' to act pitiful.  He's real good at that - even better than
he is at cookin' BBQ.
 
We gotted to watch a bunch of human-type peoples takin' baths in a big ol'
bath tub.  We ain't never seen nobody in such a hurry to get out of the tub!
We found out that Mee Maw can blubber pretty good too.  This really nice
young human lady, who gotted out of the tub first or second, did a really
special thing.  She and some other ladies got to stand on some steps while
pretty music played and some other folks putted some pretty ribbons, with
shiny round things on them, around their necks.  Then this nice lady gaved
the whole ribbon, shiny thing and all, to a friend of hers who couldn't take
a bath with her because she was too sick to do so.  Mee Maw was the first to
start cryin' like Paw Paw does sometimes.  It wasn't long before everybody
started to leak tears because of what the nice lady had done for her friend.
 
That gotted us to thinkin'.  We only gotted into this Olympic thang because
we wanted to prove how much we loves Rosie and Maxie.  Cookie came down to
help us out and didn't even tell us she was a girl, at first - so we knows
that she only wants to help.  We thinks that we has a pretty good chance of
beating that British Carrotball Team.  We also thinks that we can beat those
really big ferts on the Canadian Moose Stash Team.  So, when we gets them
pretty ribbons and shiny things putted around our necks, we is gonna give
them to Gizzie, Troy Lynn's sick baby.  It just seems like the right thing
to do.
 
You hang in there, Gizzie.  You gots three Olympic-type ferrets who is lovin'
you and thinking 'bout you.  Give Mama Troy Lynn a special kiss for us.
 
We gotta go do some more training for our event now.  Now that Paw Paw is
carryin' that big stick around with him, we finger that we'd really better
get down to some serimous training.
 
Many much loves, dooks and hopes for Olympic Neat Stuff,
 
Tater, Odie and Cookie - America's Team
[Posted in FML issue 1639]