I just had to tell you all something that made me laugh just now.  I was
giving two of my ferrets their hairball remedy from the tube, and it was
the last of the tube, so I was really trying to squeeze out the last little
bit.  The fuzzies were anticipating every little gooey drop of the stuff,
as little by little I squeezed some more out of that hard metal tube.
Suddenly a thin half inch ribbon pops out of the tube and my girl, Missy,
grabs it in her mouth, as if it were something solid, instead of licking it
off.  Her eyes squeeze tightly closed, whether in anticipation or to keep
that sticky stuff out of them, I'm not certain.  She takes off running for
the under-the-bed hideout and multi-purpose stash and ferret rest-room.  I
start laughing, but watch nervously as she nears the bed skirt, gingerly
trying to hold that sticky ribbon of malt-flavored petroleum jelly in her
mouth like a prize she doesn't want to harm, and I hear myself saying, "you
better not wipe that on the floor under there."  I am just waiting for her
to bump the bed skirt and leave half of it hanging off the pale yellow and
china-blue flower pattern as she whisks her prize beneath the ruffle.
 
Well, being deaf, she could care less what I'm saying to her, but she turns
anyway and gives me this view of her face, which was one of those Kodak
moments you don't catch and regret forever.  My dark-eyed white, that used
to be a silver, is wearing this hilarious brown petroleum mustache, from
whisker to whisker and making funny chewing motions, eyes half-open, as if
she has a tablespoon of peanut butter stuck to the roof of her mouth.  Then
she darts under the bed, whether she was intent on spitting her prize back
out and saving it in her precious stash, someplace on the carpet, or
actually planning to finish swallowing it, I don't know.  But only seconds
later, she comes barreling out from under the bed, her cute little white
face pristinely clean, with a mischievous grin splitting her face, ear to
ear.
 
I notice she looks an awful lot like Stewart Little in his recent Hollywood
debut, sans the clothes, the red hotrod, and the naked rat-tail, of course.
Back to the tube she races, dashes in, surprising Henry, the big awkward
lout with the lopsided toothy grin, just long enough to grab the next
little piece of ribbon and dash back under the bed.
 
I knew I named her Mioeskas (Mee-skas, Gaelic for Mischievous, a.k.a.
"Missy"), for a good reason.  I can't wait to pull the bed out and once
again call the trusty, if obstinate, green carpet cleaning machine back
into service.  I just hope it doesn't burn out before I do!
[Posted in FML issue 2967]