Hi  Y'all,
 
I wanted to make everyone's day today.  I'm feeling bulletproof.  After
all, intelligent people run the Insurance Companies - don't they?
Anyway, I hope this brings a smile to your face.
 
I am cruising down the road in Springfield, Vt. when I hear an
advertisement for the R.S. Carroll Agency in Springfield.  They want my
business, they want to insure my house.  Yea.  I called them and answered
the usual questions.
 
Do you have a dog?  Yes.  What breed?  Honesty is the best policy - so I
say a Malamute, a Border Collie, and a German Shepherd.  Any other
animals???  Yep ferrets.
 
I got the dogs by, but the ferrets were something else.  They quoted
their Risk Policy.  I asked for a copy of #1.9 Ineligible Risks, their
reason for refusal - said I was going to post in on a Digest I belonged
to.  They were surprised, but said okay.
 
So I quote with their permission, from the paper they sent me:
"Risks where there is known exposure to wild or dangerous animals held
as pets including but not limited to Akita Chow, Pit Bull Terriers,
Rottweiler, and Wolf dogs or ferett(s).  (The misspelling is theirs.)
Maximum number of dogs allowed is 4 per risk."
 
These are the same ferrets that will not eat a lump in their soup.  They
eat all around it.  They won't eat it when it gets cold.  Now what do
you think they would do with someone's live pet chicken complete with
feathers who wandered by, or a dressed guest in my home.  Heaven forbid,
they would have to spit out the shoes.
 
I was fuming, and I appoligize to the smokers out there.  I asked, Do
you insure smokers who fall asleep and burn down the house?  Yep, no
problem there.  Can I have fire and wind insurance only?  My ferrets do
not smoke, and everyone in my house who could light a match, would chew
it to strike it, and wet matches have never been a problem with us.
Nope, can't give fire insurance to a non-smoking ferret.
 
These are the people who are running the country.  Lord save us all.  I
think I need a crusade, maybe getting stronger penalties for people who
abuse animals.  They should pay board, room, and vet bills.  If not, I'd
gladly pay for their vacation in an 8 by 10 room with no view.
 
Thanks for listening.  Are you smiling yet????
 
Marilyn and the gang at Ledoux Hospice.
[Posted in FML issue 4984]