Dear Ferret Folks-
 
The day before yesterday Shelly asked how she might attach 100 feet of
coiled up sewer hose to the walls of her home for her ferrets to run in.
 
Well, I have an idea.
 
I recommend a small team of slaves.  Yes, slaves.  They are not currently
available on the U.S. market, but I think if enough of us petition Home
Depot and Lowe's Superstores they will take notice.  How better to
complete the home re-modeling projects that these vendors sell to our
otherwise rational husbands?
 
Like my husband is going to FINISH replacing installing all the wooden
trim around the door, cieling, and window of our bathroom in ONE EASY
WEEKEND?  That is a black joke, he bought the necessary tools several
years ago, there is STILL only half of the trim installed.  The rest
has been stored in a dark closet.
 
Permanently.
 
Buying the tools and materials is NOT the same thing as completing the
job, as many a woman on this forum can attest to.  Now, if Home Depot and
Lowes really want to push their revenue through the roof, they need to
rent small teams of slaves by the hour, along with the trailers, vans,
and carpet installers they currently have available for rent.
 
Slaves, who will not be seduced by the seductive lure of the sofa and the
television and a bag of chips as our husbands are.  No, the slave gang
will come with a whip-wielding overseer who will see to it that the job
is not only begun in a timely fashion, but is FINISHED.
 
Now me, I prefer my slaves to be young, male, well-muscled, stripped to
the waist and oiled, but that's just me.  And why not?  It's WOMEN who
shuffle behind our men in the check-out line at these do it yourself
emporiums, and pay THE BILL for the drills, and the brads, and the bits,
and the sanders, and the carpet stretchers, and the lineoleum knives, and
the carpenter's pencils, and the nails, and the leaf blowers, and the
rest.  Right?  So these slave gangs should be marketed to US, am I right
ladies?
 
Not only should they be easy on the eye, shey should CLEAN UP AFTER
THEMSELVES when the job is done.
 
Shelly, I think that a four-man slave team (in orange and white loincloth
from Home Depot, blue and white loincloth from Lowes) should be able to
pin up all 100 feet of sewer line in under an hour if the guy with the
whip is the least bit competent.
 
Alexandra in MA
REMEMBER:Tip the guy with the whip!
[Posted in FML issue 4700]