Okay, our Mom finally pulled it together to get a 20 gallon storage box and
a 20 pound bag of rice and make a new toy for us, just like all the other
ferrets have had for months, except for us, because we are neglected, but
that is another story anyway.
 
I went in it first, because I am much more intrepid than Rustle, who is
such a big baby he is even afraid of going outside and always runs to get
back into the house whenever we get to go into the backyard, but that is
another story anyway, too.
 
I was having such a great time, digging and snorkling, snorkling and
digging... and then all of a sudden I realized my mom was laughing,
hysterically, at ME.  And she told me that she never would have believed
it, but I looked just like Harvey the gerbil.  That is some little guy who
lives in our house, too.  It is true that he spends hours every day trying
to dig out of his glass tank, but to compare me to that rancid little
rodent is totally insupportable.
 
So I stopped digging and got Mom to take me out, and then Rustle went in
the box.  Well, he looked very proper and industrious, I will have you
know, but my mom started laughing even harder, to the point of screaming
and almost falling off the bed.  I decided to jump back into the box to tip
him off to the fact that we were being seen as objects of ridicule, but
when I got in the box, Rustle attacked me.  So I had to attack him back.
And then as usual, he got carried away and I had to cry and Mom had to
rescue me and then Rustle decided he was tired of the rice box too, and
Mom had to take him out, too, and that was that.
 
Mom was muttering something about the rice having become very aromatic,
kind of like the basmati she uses when she makes her Indian food.  She
started narrowing her eyes, speculatively.  One of us squelched any funny
ideas that she might have had in that regard by pooping in the corner
(where else?) of the rice box.  I won't say who did it, but I do feel like
it was the right thing to do.  After all, it is OUR rice box, even if it is
not the total Nirvana we thought it was going to be.  And that is our
story.
 
Sincerely,
Archie (Artemis) McFerret
[Posted in FML issue 2714]