To All Who May Want to Include Olympic Events in Next Ferret-Get-together,
Check these out:
 
1.  Two-flags flagpole race.  Lay out on grassy hillside an oval boundry
(enclose about 10-feet) with a length of clothesline or other rope with one
only entrance/exit opening (gate).  Stake vertically two garden stakes at
far end of oval from entrance/exit.  Attach pennants 1 and 2 to the stakes.
 
Objective: Time how long it takes for owner to lead ferret (from entrance
gate) around each flagpole and outside the entrance gate.  Time limit of 3
minutes and timed to 1/100 second to reduce possibility of two contestents
with same times.
 
Owner may use any squeeker toy, raisins, ferretone, etc. to coax ferret
around the flagpoles and out the gate.  Dragging the ferret is not allowed.
 
2.  5-Bag Paperbag Escape Contest.  Place 5 ferrets one each in a numbered,
pre-folded grocery bag.  The kraft brown-paper bags we use are donated by a
local store and measure 12" X 7" X 16-1/2"  Each bag, 1 thru 5, is folded
identically (one fold only) and held closed by owner until judge says,
"Release Your Ferrets!" Ferrets escape times are recorded, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd
in each heat to 1/100 second.  Time limit of 2 minutes per heat.  Ties are
done a second time, and only new paper bags should be used, so that scent
from previous ferret does not inhibit escape attempt of redos.
 
Objective: Ferret must have all four paws on the ground (grass) to be
considered escaped.  This can be very exasperating for the owner, since some
ferrets only exit half-way and need to be coaxed out all the way by a
pleading, begging owner down on all fours.  Fun-n-ny.  Judge disqualifies
contestant if ferret is dragged from the fallen-over bag before time limit
of 2 minutes.
 
3.  String Sniffing Contest.  Suspend parallel above grass one inch a
36"-long cord firmly attached at both ends to prevent sagging.  Saturate the
cord along its entire length (prior to setting out on the grass) with a
fluid of your choice that you hope will be of keen interest to all ferrets.
 
Objective: Time how long it takes for a ferret to sniff the full length of
the string.  Time to 1/100 second and record sex, age, and reproductive
status of each ferret contestant.  It's a good idea to place a clean length
of paper between the two ends of the suspended string, so that any scent
left on the grass by a previous ferret will not deter a follow-on ferret.
 
NOTE: It might be a good idea to suspend 6 or more strings similarly, each
scented differently, so that the most attractive scent is used thereafter.
 
4.  Yawning Contest.  Each contestant with ferret stimulates his ferret to
yawn repeatedly (as best he can: some scruff their ferret and simultaneously
tickle the ferret's chin or corners of its mouth) as crowd calls out the
consecutive number of yawns ferret gives during a 30 second time period.
This is done on an elevated platform so that onlookers can participate in
counting the yawns out loud.
 
5.  Swimming Contest.  Frettchenlustbarkeitsfuehrer in bathing suit and
tennis shoes takes contestant's ferret out into Lake Washington just beyond
25-foot marker pole.  Judge on shore indicates readiness to time ferret's
swim toward shore to the second marker pole.  The two poles are connected
with a precisely measured 25-foot long white cord that is submerged 1 foot
below the surface.  Ferret is placed in water with nose even with marker
pole and immediately starts swimming toward shore.
Frettchenlustbarkeitsfuehrer wades behind ferret and guides the ferret to
swim directly above the white, submerged chord connecting the two marker
poles, 25-feet distant.  Upon the ferret's nose aligning with the shore
marker pole, the judge (on shore) records total time to 1/100 second.
 
Objective: To determine the average swimming speed of the American ferret,
as well as determining the fastest swimming ferret in the world.  Each
ferret is given 3 trial swims to achieve its fastest speed waterborne.  Top
speed was clocked at 9.79 seconds for a computed velocity of 1.74 miles per
hour.  Slowest speed (a different ferret) was clocked at 22.32 seconds for a
computed velocity of 0.764 miles per hour.
 
Note: All ferrets that participated in the swimming contest were later
entered in the grass 25-foot long race course.  It is noteworthy that the
fastest ferret in the water was also the fastest on land at 3.86 miles per
hour.
 
Next posting will describe the 10 following ferret events.
 
                          Nous verrons. [F] We shall see.
 
Edward Lipinski, Frettchenvergnuegen from the Frettchenlustbarkeitsfuehrer !
Frettchenvergnuegen [G.] Joy of Ferrets.  F...fuehrer [G.] Ferret frolics
leader.
[F]erret [E]ndowment for [R]esearch,[R]ehab, [E]ducation & [T]raining
[S]ociety, NorthWest.
[Posted in FML issue 2215]