Hi,
My name's Kirby an' dis is my first time typin' on da pooter to yoo guys!  I
wanna tellya 'bout my brudda, Bandit.  He's a sick beezer-fuzzie right now
cuz he's gotta green poopy sickness or sumthin' like dat.  Daddy sez he
typed to sumone named Dayna hoo takes care of sick ferret-dudes and tells
hoomans howta feed sick beezers like Bandit.  Bandit just sleeps alot an'
don't eat no kitty food like he's suppose ta, so Daddy, Maw, and Krissy (the
big little girl) has ta forrest-feed him or sumthin' like dat.  Dey opens
his teef and poor what he calls yukky-stuff intaw his mouf.  Dey tried to
givem' sticky stuff called hunny or sumtin' but he don't like it none.  I
luv it!  It's just as good as dat dried piney-apple dat we eat when we run
'round da house.
 
I feel bad for Bandy cuz he's my only brudda an' my best buddie in da hole
big wide world.  His ribs is pokin' out cuz he's skinny an' he can't get out
of his cage cuz he's too week an' he falls over.  Any hoomans hoo can help
Daddy make Bandit feel betta an' eat sum' dry food,can send sum' pooter mail
on sum' pooter-spider-web-thingy like Dayna did.  Oh, an' thank ya much
Dayna!  Dookie from Bandit an' me an' Daddy an' Maw an' Krissy an' all de
udder animoos frum here in Maine (oh yeah, an' da big Tommy guy, too!He's my
hooman brudda.) Ayuh (dat's a Maine word hoomans use here; wierd huh?).
'Kay, gotta get off da pooter now cuz Maw's comin',oh an' Tater an' Odie,
guess we can't cum to da weddin' unless we get ridda da green poops!
Bye  Bye!
Dooks,
KIRBY("I wasn't dooin' nufin, Maw") (Bandit:"QUIT FEEDIN' ME DAT YUKKY
STUFF, WOODYA?  YER MAKIN' ME MAD, Y'HEAR?!?!?!?")
[Posted in FML issue 1625]