"Adventures of the Starship Raisinprize"
              "Episode 1 - Transmission 2 of 5"
 
SULU: "Captain, we are approaching a planet.  Long range sensors
indicate the presence of Squeaky Toys.  Shall I enter orbit."
 
CAPTAIN: "For the love of raisins YES!  Checkov, I'll deal with you
later.  Now, scan the planet."
 
BEEP ... BLARP ... BEEP
 
CHECKOV: "Aliun wessel appwoaching.  It s the Dogulons sir."
 
UPOOPOO: "They are hailing us sir, putting it up on screen."
 
DOGULON CAPTAIN (looking remarkably like a dog with dreadlocks): "Woof
woof, bow wow wow, ruff woof woof...."
 
UPOOPOO: "Translator is not working.  Correcting problem."
 
DOGULON CAPTAIN: "woof woof...destroy you.  I repeat, this is Dogulon
Space depart immediately or we will destroy you."
 
CAPTAIN DOOK: (To Dogulons) "We are ... EXPERIENCING ... difficulties
with our ... engines.  We will depart ... just as ... SOON AS ... we
correct them.  Thank you ... for your patience.  Transmission off."
 
CAPTAIN DOOK: (To intercom) "Scotty, get your engines ready.  We may
need to get ... the dook ... out of here ... FAST."
 
SCOTTY: "Aye, aye captain.  I'll get the hamsters in their wheels at
once."
 
CAPTAIN: "Sock, Bones, you're with me.  Report to shuttle bay one.  We
... must ... get those ... SQUEAKY toys."
 
SOCK: "The Dogulons may detect a shuttle.  I suggest we use our super
secret teleportation ability sir."
 
CAPTAIN: "Yes! Good idea Sock.  Those Dumb Dogulons will never know what
happened."
 
BONES: (muttering just a moment before the three of them disappear) "I
hate transporting!"
 
POP ... POP ... POP (Jim, Sock, and Bones appear on the planet surface.
There are many open fields with many red metallic columns scattered
around.  The three duck into some bushes just in time to see a Dogulon
walk up to one of the columns, sniff it, and then urinate on it.)
 
BONES: "Disgusting!  Can't they at least use a corner?"
 
CAPTAIN: "Never mind their personal hygiene.  We don't have much time.
Sock, can you triangulate the location of the squeaky toys?"
 
SOCK: "They are located approximately 500 scamper steps to the north.
Follow me.  Readings indicate they are disbursed over a large area."
 
BONES: "Found one.  Look it's just lying in the middle of the field.
What type of moron leaves his toys lying around instead of hiding them?"
 
CAPTAIN: "I found one too by this stream.  Start collecting them.
Quickly."
 
(After just a few minutes, the three ferrets have filled their bags with
squeaky toys.  Suddenly a loud barking is heard from the other side of
the stream.  Then dozens of huge dogulons come splashing through the
stream straight for the three.  The dogulons stop about 15 ferret
lengths away.  They bare their teeth and start growling.)
 
CAPTAIN: "Set personal defensive stink spray to stun and fire."
 
BONES: "Its not working.  The Dogulons are wet, and nothing stinks worse
than a wet dogulon."
 
(As the three back up, Bones steps on a squeaky toy "SQUEAK".  All of
the dogulons stop growling and get excited.)
 
SOCK: "I have a plan.  Be ready to run."
 
(Sock grabs the toy and squeaks it three more times.  All of the
dogulons start yelping and wagging their tails.  Sock throws it into
their midst.  There is suddenly mass confusion as all of the dogulons
try to get the toy.  Many collide and are knocked unconscious.  Some
grab other tails, and get into fights.  Some just look confused.)
 
CAPTAIN: "Run, now for those bushes."
 
(The three run as fast as they possibly can to the bushes)
 
CAPTAIN: "Whew!  Good thinking Sock.  The dogulons can't see us here,
lets use our super secret transportation ability to return to the
Raisinprize.)
 
                     (to be continued)
           - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  - - -
          Bryan P. Coffey - Boston, MA
The Weasel Warriors - Albi, Esef, Merri & Mint
    http://www.gis.net/~bpcoffey/furball.html
[Posted in FML issue 2713]