Mathematicians have long ignored the bewildering field of Ferret Math, in
which a simple, linear set of one or two ferrets can often be transformed
into a complex, nonlinear set of many ferrets.  The following is an effort
to formalize the widely accepted theorem that 1 ferret = n ferrets, where n
is an arbitrarily large integer, and a ferret is a loveable, fuzzy,
mischievous mustelid.
 
Let x = 1 ferret.
Then, x^2 = 1*1 = 1 = x.
Similarly, x^n = (1)(1)...(1) = 1 = x.
Therefore, 1 ferret = ferret^n = (ferret)(ferret)(ferret)...(ferret), where
n is an absolutely astonishing number of ferrets!
Q.E.D.
 
Thus, through a misapplication of algebraic notation, we have proven that
even one innocent-looking ferret always has the potential of transforming
itself into many, many ferrets, and each of the resulting ferrets have the
same potential!  We must all therefore be on our guard, lest our orderly,
Euclidean human lifestyle with one or two harmless-looking ferrets be
transformed into a bouncy, Lobatchevskian existence with many, many
ferrets, and any subsequent analysis would require advanced applications
of Chaos Theory.
 
-Brandon Burt
+ Baldrick (who is working on the proof for his theorem that fourteen
  grapes under the couch plus three weeks equals fourteen raisins.)
[Posted in FML issue 2627]