Q:"Are ferrets self-aware?"
 
A: *I* don't wear no self-awares.
 
I can't answer this question because I don't know.  Maybe to a degree, but
true self-awareness?  I don't know.  Does anyone know?  And if they do, can
they also tell me what God looks like?
 
Q:"There is so much fighting on the FML...how do you stay out of it, even
when you are obviously being defamed?"
 
A: Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of beer.
 
I *do* get mad from time to time.  I am one of those people with extremely
long fuses but big explosions.  I'm also have a couple of sensitive areas
regarding privacy and intolerance.  I've lost it a few times, but
fortunately for my lack-of-reputation, BIG rescues me from my tackless
diatribes.  I owe him big for that, because he takes the heat (or at least
reads it) and ever so gently reminds me I am better than what I am allowing
myself to be.  He has always been right.
 
In terms of what I say here, I honestly don't care if people agree or not.
Most of my Q-N-A posts are researched, so even if I am wrong, I stand with
reputable scientists.  I think the trick is to detach yourself from the
information you are giving, so attacks on the information do not become
personal attacks on the ego.  The other thing is not to take yourself too
seriously.  I mean, after all we are all of 3000 people talking about pets,
and even if we love them to the depths of our being, the world takes little
note, nor long remembers our discourses.  I learned this lesson when I was
a photojournalist and saw my favorite world-changing photos being used as
puppy training paper.  Or at ferret functions when people come up to be and
express how happy they are to meet me, even though they just scan through
my posts because they are so very long and scientific.  (sigh)
 
Perhaps the worst problem on the FML (in this respect) can be illustrated
by a recent occurence in (I believe) Washington DC.  A white man was
discussing the budget, and used the word "niggardly" in his appraisal of
the city response to a particular need.  Of course he offended black people
and was fired in a PC scandle.  The problem is, "niggard" is of
Scandinavian origin, meaning "to be stingy," and dates back before African
based slavery.  The "N" word is a corruption of the latin-based languages'
word for black.  They are not even close in meaning.  Even if the man
should have had the foresight to not use the word, the reaction to it only
proved intolerance and a remarkable lack of vocabulary.  Both occur on the
FML far too often by well-meaning people (and few apologize).
 
Excluding the occasional CaCa Fishing Gestapo spy, we are all here for the
same reason; we love ferrets.  If someone offends you, write a long,
spiteful, hateful letter to get it off your chest, let it set in your email
box for a few days, and then wisely delete it.  Better yet, send BIG a
six-pack (of ferret toys) with a note requesting he remind you that you are
a far better person than your post would lead people to believe.  Trust
him.  I do without reservation.  And be tolerant of other opinions.  They
might be right and *you* are wrong.
 
Q:"Ferrets seem to be very sickly.....why are they so ill all the time?"
 
A: They are just sick of the impeachment farce.
 
Take your entire life, with all your illnesses and injuries, and compress
them into a 7 year period.  Would it appear you are also sickly?  I know
ferrets have some specific problems, but I honestly doubt if they are any
sicker than any other pet.  Try raising reptiles, or maintaining amphibians
and some birds.  Ouch!  The next time you are at the vets, take a look at
the number of sick cats and dogs and be thankful.
 
Q:"Where do you get all your cool info?"
 
A: At science fiction and UFO conventions.
 
As I told one of my sweet, dear friends, get out of the chat rooms, stop
downloading nekkid pictures, and plug into Medline, Current Contents,
Biological Abstracts, and the Library of Congress.  Learn how to do
searches, obtain the references, critically read them, and learn the
information.  It's that simple and if I can do it, anyone can.
 
In my last search, I noticed Biological abstracts had nearly 1000 papers
referenced to ferrets.  Combine it with Mustela putorius furo, and the
number more than doubles.  The literature is rich and extensive and quite
easy to obtain.  Also, I have about 70 feet of books (23 3-foot shelves)
and 16 filecabinets full of references.  I am slowly putting them in an
Endnote bibliography searchable database (2/3rd done).  About 1/6th of the
references apply to ferrets.  When I am asked a question, I first run it in
the online databases, then search my references.  Many times, its just to
refresh what I have already learned, but each time I read the same article,
I notice something new.  Perhaps this approach is considered erudite by
some, but, hey, that's their antiintellectual bias.  Isn't toleration
wonderful?
 
Bob C and 20 Mo' Referencin' Ferts
[Posted in FML issue 2571]