Ugh!  Ferret people upset.  Want run Hanna man out of town after he say
ferret bite Columbus city infant.  Ohy vehy!  Too, too bad ... ferret
people frothing at mouth and run around like chicken with head chopped off
for what Hanna man say.
 
Anybody think Hanna man right ... hmmm?  Anyone?  No one ... nobody?
 
There is one ... this one not THINK that Hanna man is right, but KNOW for
sure that Hanna man is ... how white man say?  - right on the money!
 
So much for the Jewish/indian lingo.  Maybe it made the point.  It's a
point certainly not popular with the vast majority of ferret owners and
only grudgingly half vast popular with their minority.
 
Face the fact folks: Ferrets have, do and will continue to bite and maul
human infants.  You got a problem with that Pilgrim?
 
So what if the incidence of dog bites proportionately exceeds ferret bites.
The fact remains that ferrets bite and to this date there is not one human
being on the face of this globe who can cite to you a finite, exact number.
Dog bites may indeed outnumber ferret bites.  This is a defense for the
ferret?  How absurd.
 
Josef (Uncle Joe) Stalin killed many more people that did Adolf Hitler,
right?  Does that make Adolf Hitler more acceptable?  I should think not.
Point: it does not make the ferret acceptable either, moreso than the
savaging of an infant by a dog.
 
I have personal experiences with ferrets that have stalked, have bitten,
and have attempted to drag human infants by their scalps to wherever in the
hell they were trying to drag them.  To deny that ferrets are maulers of
human infants is the grossest absurdity to the minds of rational men.  Yet
I love ferrets, although some of you people out there may have difficulty
with that honest admission.
 
The big, big question that needs answering is: which ferret of the many is
certain to bite a human infant if given the right (?) circumstances,
irregardless of the stupidity and ignorance of the infant owners?  This is
the question, we, as intelligent ferret owners must ask ourselves and not
be fearful of the asking in itself.
 
Please, please good people, don't attack the messenger, Mr. Jack Hanna, for
his message and opinion that is based on factual circumstances.  Instead of
us looking like a band of moronic idiots villifying an honest and worthy
man, instead dedicate our energy of vitriol in pursuit of the answer: WHY
DO SOME FERRETS APPEAR TO ATTACK HUMAN INFANTS?
 
Notice I write "APPEAR TO ATTACK," rather than "ATTACK" because no one
human being is absolutely certain and can prove absolutely beyond a shadow
of doubt that the activity that takes place involving the ferret and the
infant is indeed an attack.  Think now, could what we, in our ignorance,
see as an attack ... could that be something else ... something like the
innate behavior of the ferret that most of us have witnessed ... the
instinctive treasuring and attempt to cache a new and exciting object ...
the human infant?  Think about it.  Have we jumped the gun and reached a
wrong conclusion?
 
Edward Lipinski, Er selbst sagt: Was ich nicht weiss, macht mich nicht
heiss.  [G] My ignorance doesn't make me glow.
 
What'da say? Should I send a copy of this message to Mr. Jack Hanna?
[Posted in FML issue 2539]