Ferrets' friends,
 
I read some time ago an hilarious post on "How to photograph your Ferret".
As it just happened to me a few hours ago I want to give further
suggestions to the persons that are going to do it for the first time.
 
Being here today an holiday I decided to shot some photos of Orietta in her
Santa's dress (thanks Bill & Sandy in Atlanta for sending it to me), for
the Xmas cards I intend to print.
 
All the facts are guaranteed to be true, no fantasy !  Just ask to my
family....
 
**** HOW TO PHOTOGRAPH YOUR FERRET IN SANTA'S DRESS ****
 
1. Ask to your wife a white sheet for the background (no snow here yet)
 
2. Persuade your son to delay his date with his girlfriend because you
   need him to hold up the vertical side of the background
 
3. Lay the sheet on a table and put on its middle the small artificial Xmas
   tree you borrowed  from your pub the day before. Ask your son to lift up
   the other half part of the sheet and to hold it
 
4. Take your camera and focus on the tree. Fix your mind to the exact
   position from where you  focused. Put the camera on the table, open the
   hairball remover tube and have it handy
 
5. Open the ferret's cage taking out the chain that locks the door and that
   you putted there since when you noticed how fast Igor was in discovering
   how to open the door
 
6. Grab Orietta and persuade Igor that it is not yet playtime and that he
   must stay in the cage
 
7. Say to your son to forget about the sheet and ask him to handle Orietta
   while you try to dress her
 
8. Repeat the previous operation for the number of times required to
   convince her not to throw the Santa's hat to the floor
 
9. While your son is repositioning the background hold Orietta with one
   hand and squeeze with the other a bit of remover on the tree in order
   to stimulate her to go there
 
10. Pick up the hat from the floor and fix it on her again
 
11. Put Orietta near the tree and while she is licking the remover take
    quickly the camera
 
12. Take out the tiny bell from Orietta's mouth
 
13. Leave the camera, ask your son to hold Orietta while you are grabbing
    Igor from the floor, as he was rapidly aware that the chain was not
    anymore locking the door.  Put Igor back in the cage and lock the door
    with the chain
 
14. Repeat points 10 and 11 as many times as needed.  Ask your wife to stop
    laughing, because this makes you nervous.  Shout to your son "Stop
    telling  me that you are late !"
 
15. Forget the position you focused from, because Orietta is licking the
    tree from the side just opposite to the one you were guessing.  Focus
    again from the other point of vue
 
16. Shot some photos, undress Orietta, put her back inside the cage and
    swear to yourself that next year you will buy those old good usual
    Xmas cards !
 
(Tired) dooks.
 
F  errets'
U  niversal
L  over
V  ia
I  nternet
O  bviously
[Posted in FML issue 2518]