Thank you to everyone who has written to me with thier concerns and
advice on my first-born, Jake.  It is with tremendous saddness that I say
that Jake lost his battle on March 20th 1999, 1:55pm, to intestinal
lymphosarcoma.  He first started showing signs of lethargy the week of
February 8th, and it was a quick, downhill battle.  I denied the lympho,
searched high and wide for other causes, ones that might be curable.  I
consulted many different vets, asked for advice from all you experienced
ferret-lovers on this list..  I fought with jake on every possible angle.
I held him and loved him as if I gave birth to him myself.  His last week
he started to develop limb tremors, and on thursday and friday, I thought
he had gone blind.  My suspicion was confirmed when we brought him in for
exploratory surgery at 1:30 on Saturday.  The vet ran some tests, and he
could not see.  We knew then that it was a cancer, and it had reached his
brain.  While he was sedated, we opened him up..  his mesenteric lymph
nodes were huge, his small intestine in one area showed signs of cancer,
and there was a small amount of unknown fluid in his body cavity.  We took
samples and weighed our choices.  we could put him on chemo..  but, it had
already reached his brain..  stealing his sight, and robbing him of his
dignity with all those tremors he had no control over.  It was time.  We
said our good bye to him on the table, and he was put gently, lovingly,
and quickly into internal sleep.  The biggest surpise was my SO.  He wept
openly and deeply.  Jake was his boy..  when my SO came home from work,
Jake was the first one he greeted, and Jake would trot over to him, knowing
his daddy was coming up the stairs to say hello to him, regardless of the
time of day.
 
I am inconsolable.  As stupid as this sounds, I never thought this would
happen to us.  I cried with every story of the death of a ferret on the
FML, and as I did, I thought "thank god this can never happen to me and my
babies".  Or maybe I cried not only for the lost ones, but knowing that
indeed one day it WOULD happen to me, and I was also crying because of that
revelation.  I guess I thought that it was something that was other-worldy
to me and my business... Out of the realm of my small existance.  Well, now
I feel as if I've joined a very special club.  I feel more bound to this
list and to the people I've never seen, but only met through the printed
word.  Thank you all for being there, and even if only a small percentage
of the 3000 subscribers read this, it's ok..  I want you all to know how
much I love my Jakey-Puddin'.  If I could scream it from a mountain top for
the whole world to hear, I would not hesitate to do so.
 
He was only a little over 3 years old.  He was a sable, with black and gold
and cream coloring.  His gold fur would shimmer in the right light.  I use
to hold him while he slept, and marvel at what a beautiful creation he was.
His lines, his markings, (especially the 'zippper' going down his belly)
his wiskers, the line going down his nose..  how gentle his eyes were every
time he looked at me to get my attention..he had little white tufts of
fur between the main pads and smaller digit pads of his front paws, on
otherwise all black paws.  I could go on..  but I know that you all must
feel the same about your little charges.  Please kiss all your babies faces
tonight, and tell them that you love them.  I told jake and showed him a
multitude of times each day, that I loved him..  and I hope that these
animals in our care, in thier own way, can truly experience our love for
them.  Wouldn't that be a wonderful gift?
 
Thank you for reading this. I love my Jake so very, very much.
-Celia
(with Kes, Dax, and Odo-bean, mouring the loss of our Jake)
[Posted in FML issue 2623]