Ethan asked about ferrets and books:
In my experience, ferrets just _love_ books.  Or maybe they hate them; it
can be hard to tell.  At any rate, a single ferret can have all bookshelves
within reach emptied before you can count from one to ten.  It doesn't
matter how many bookshelves there are.  They can do it, trust me.
 
Mine don't hurt the books on purpose, but they do like to move them around
pretty regularly.  I avoid putting heavy books within ferret reach, so that
one ferret can't drop a heavy tome on another (Amelia: "whoops, was that
Cully's head?  oh dear me.  what's behind this next book?"), and I avoid
putting any highly valued books within reach.  If neither of these sound
like an option for you, maybe just putting cinder blocks or other heavy
items instead of books on the low shelves would be a good solution.  One
other thing to watch out for with bookshelves is that they may provide
handy climbing access to places you don't want a ferret to be (which,
generally speaking, is the place a ferret most wants to be).
 
And yes, this former anthropologist can confirm your memory about the
domestication of guinea pigs-- meat, not pets.  Nice for guinea pigs that
this isn't the case anymore, at least not widely beyond the Andes!
 
Regina
 
[Moderator's note: A Peruvian restaurant very near my home has them on the
menu.  Across the street from this restaurant is a pet store.  I've often
wondered (more or less jokingly) if there was any connection.  Yuck.  BIG]
[Posted in FML issue 2434]