Howdy,
 
I just got back from vacation (actually I've been back for about a week but
I've been busier than, um, well...a really busy person).  I took a trip
back to wide open skies of Montana.  I stopped over in Bozeman with the
main goal of burying the recently departed Mr. Lugnut Chains up in the
mountains next to his beloved Scandal.  However, I found out that even in
death, Lugnut can still cause frustrations like only a ferret can.  It all
started when I stopped at the local Wal-Mart to buy a shovel.  When I
returned to my Bug, there it sat with a flat tire.  Darn!  As I started
changing the tire, I realized what was going on.  Lugnut was up to his old
tricks, reassuring me that even death could not keep a good ferret down.
He even gave me a clue as to his involvement in this conspiracy.  Because I
have fancy aluminum rims on the Bug, the spare takes different lugnuts and
it's a minor chore to change them.  So as I'm changing the tire, cussing
about these danged lugnuts, it hits me.  Lugnut's letting me know he's
watching.  He used to love to steal the rubber wheels off my Lego vehicles
(which I have for purely engineering purposes, a grown man does not play
with Legos).
 
Then, when I finally got the Bug back together, I took off up into the
mountains to find "the spot".  This is when Lugnut pulled his next ferret
stunt.  I swear he actually stole "the spot" and hid it somewhere else.  I
could not find it!  Four years ago when we went up there to bury Scandal
there was nary a house around.  Now the place is a little community of
retired folks who moved there to get away from the big cities.  There were
new houses and new roads and I quickly became lost.  Finally, with the
help of a helpful homeowner (who seemed concerned about a long-haired,
scruffy-looking guy in a motorcycle jacket driving a Bug up his driveway) I
made my way up to "the spot".  Then with a lot of huffing and puffing
(after living in Seattle for two years, all that fresh mountain air is hard
on a guy) I dug a suitable grave and laid the old man to rest.
 
Then as I sat there gazing off into the big Montana sky, remembering the
old geezer, I had a Lion King moment.  A long skinny cloud slowly took on
the appearance of a ferret that looked just like Lugnut, and right next to
him another cloud became Scandal.  As I watched, the two started wardancing
and bouncing around just like they did when they were alive together.  I
started to get all misty-eyed until the Scandal cloud grabbed a cloud that
looked like a sock and hid it under a cloud that looked like a dresser.
Then the Lugnut cloud climbed up on a cloud that looked like a desk and
knocked over a cloud that looked like a can of pop onto a cloud that looked
like a keyboard.  Then they both deposited a cloud that looked like a
poopie into a cloud that looked like a corner with no litter pan.  Then
with a knowing wink, they faded and became regular clouds again and their
dooking drifted away with the wind.  And I was left standing there,
wondering if I should get that exhaust leak in the Bug fixed.
 
May your weezil clouds always be weezily,
Limejello & The Weezils of Doom
[Posted in FML issue 2447]