Here's another subject that seems a little ripe for humor.  Everyone cover
your grins...someone might think you are enjoying this! :)
 
First, don't pay any attention to the government investigative survey
showing that placing ferrets in the freezer was a good way to cool them off.
Their data was flawed.  First, not once did they think of soaking the ferret
first, *then* placing it in the freezer.  The way they were doing it would
have taken *forever* to freeze the fuzzie!
 
Also, the thawing times were erroneous.  There is no way that it could have
taken anywhere near the 17 minutes in the microwave on the defrost cycle,
using a 750 watt oven.  I've seen studies done at the University where the
thawing time was cut to only 3 to 4 minutes when the owner used the full
power mode for the first several minutes.  Another example of government
waste, if you ask me!
 
Now, the idea of placing a ferret in a refridgerator turns out to be
ridiculous, too.  Anyone that has had fuzzies for more than a week knows
that a fuzzie will clean out the entire refridgerator in only a matter of a
hour or so.  Because of the types of foods we normally eat, the fuzzie will
probably get so large that a genuine ferret rescue squad will have to be
called in to pry the unfortunate fert out!  Hey...maybe that's where the
term "ferret rescue" came from! :)
 
Of course, the last option that was posted, unzipping the fuzzie's fur coat
and inserting ice cubes...well, I'm sure that everyone can see the
stupidity in that.  After all, if the suit is filled with ice cubes, what
will that do to the ferret's sleek, streamlined shape?  Also, once the ice
melts, where will all that sloshing water go?  Finally, who'se going to
change all of those rusty zippers?  Those things weren't meant to hold
water, you know!
 
Come on, folx.  Let's think of some *intelligent* ways to keep fuzzies
cool!  Leather jackets, sun glasses and metal studs in their pants.  Now
*that* is a cool-lookin' fuzzie!
 
NOTICE: The above commentary was given to me by some news anchor from CNN.
There is the possibility that they may have gotten some of this info
incorrect.  Please do not hold me responsible for the silliness of their
newscasters!  And no, I don't consider putting "Dry Ice" in a fuzzie's bed
as a good idea...that stuff is just *too* expensive and doesn't last nearly
long enough to keep them cool until the mortician gets there!  Check label
for color fastness.  Be sure to cover all plants before inhailing this
product.  Do not take internally.  See your doctor for less information.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled FML, already in progress!
 
Todd and the (CNN?  Oh no...not *them* again!)  Fuzzbutt Rodeo Clowns!
 
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[Posted in FML issue 2399]