[Moderator's note: Note the date of this post: it's a response to a thread
that was active over a month ago.  I had rejected this post on August 10th.
Looks like this revised copy just arrived today.  BIG]
 
Edward Lipinski responds to  the following:
 
>As for Ed's thoughts on reasons to not fix ferrets - one thing not
>mentioned as that females will, if not fixed (and not bred) DIE.  Unless
>you limit female ownership to breeders, a lot of females are going to die
>slow miserable deaths, bleeding out of every orifice.  That's enough of a
>reason for me to say that fixing ferrets is very important.  (As if pet
>overpopulation wasn't enough).
>Mary, Boris and Giesela and Booker the dog
 
Dear Mary, Boris and Giesela (I refuse to address your dog),
 
(By the way, just out of idle curiosity, what has you dog got to do with
your writing?)
 
As I've mentioned before several times, a vasectomized male ferret kept
with an intact, fertile female ferret, will mate with her as required and
she'll not develop aplastic anemia nor will she become embryonically
pregnant and deliver unwanted baby ferrets (kits).  She'll be a very happy
contented female, having known what the sexual experience is and will
welcome her male with up-raised tail and her positioning herself forward
and under the male for ease of penetration by him.  Surely, would you deny
your little female the thrill and joy of sexual intercourse that you
yourself enjoy?  Who are you to deny one of God's creatures the ultimate
experience and wonderful feeling of heterosexual love?
 
If you've been around ferrets all this time and don't know this, then I am
really surprised.  Where did you get the information that terminal aplastic
anemic ferrets bleed from all their orifices?  Something may be dreadfully
wrong here.  I don't know all there is to know about ferrets, but bleeding
from all her holes . . .  WOW !  that's a new one one me.
 
Your statement that unbred female ferrets will die, bleeding from all the
orifices of her body, is beyond my knowledge.  I've had the experience of
watching females die of aplastic anemia, have photographed them, and can
assure you with photographs if you're interested, of their peaceful,
sleeplike, comatose deaths.  I know of no ferret that has died, as you put
it, bleeding from all orifices of her body, as a consequence directly of
aplastic anemia.
 
Unless you have positive proof of your statements, I would respectfully
request that you recant your statement and apologize to all readers of the
FML for your statements, that, unless you can prove them, please admit that
they are patently false and without foundation of any kind.
 
If on the other hand you can prove your statement, then I will commend you
to the highest degree possible, and will concede that I too have a lot to
learn.  I've eaten crow before, and although not especially tasty, is
palatable, lying somewhere in taste between the spotted owl and the
American eagle.
 
Edward Lipinski, Der Wahrkeitskaempe von Frettchenvergnuegenland, der
sagt, "Zapatero a tu zapato."
Edward Lipinski, [G.] the champion of truth from ferret joy land, who
says, [Spanish] "Shoemaker, mind thy shoe."
[Posted in FML issue 2437]