Hi Folks,
 
Well, this letter is an explantion of my silence of late.  I only write it
to explain my silence and why I haven't responded to certain emails I have
recently gotten.
 
For over a year now, I have had a major quandry.  Due to a personal
situation, there is an ongoing problem that is very difficult for me to
deal with, personally and emotionally.  It is a very painful situation for
me, and one that I have a hard time resolving within myself.
 
You see, there is a person who wishes to pretend I don't exist.  That would
be fine except that isn't what is going on.  It has been said that anything
I am involved in ferret wise will keep this person from being involved.  I
have also had to tell many folks I talk to, and many of my friends, to not
mention my name or act like they know me, if they wish to keep in contact
with this person.
 
I feel like I am being made one end of a tug of war without my permission
or desire, and that my very presence can be contrived to that end.  If I
comment on this person's posts negatively, it is said I am being vindictive.
If I comment positively, then I am manipulating others to think I am a good
person.  I am tired of having rumors spread about me, viscious lies told
about me.
 
I have wanted to work this out for over a year, have prayed for it, begged
for it, and even offered to pay for mediation to solve it.  I cannot do
anything more than I have done.  I contributed to the falling out.  But I
would like to resolve it, and move on, rather than hold a grudge.  The
other person doesn't seem to want to do this.  The only way I can see to
solve the problem at this point is to give up something I care deeply
about.  I cannot give up school or move, so I must handle what I can.
 
This is all just a way of explaning to you, those who have sent me such
kind and nice email about my posts and article.  I have talked of retiring
from all ferret community activities, and as this drags on, it is becoming
more than just a possibility.  So please understand my silence.  I have
some serious thinking to do.  I have to decide if my presence is more of a
harm to the ferret community than the good I think I might do.
 
So for right now, I am bowing out, at least temporarily.  It is painful for
me to try and stay involved, and have to try to find a way to deal with my
own feelings (it is all extremely hurtful to me because of my own feelings
for this other person).
 
I will also be closing my po box, and changing my phone number.  I am
continuing (at least until a couple of days after school started) to
receive multiple hang up calls a day, sometimes over a dozen.  And it is a
plain fact that some of you who currently have it will no longer have it.
This is my personal choice, and not indicative of anything anyone else has
done.  I hope, even though I fear it, that I do not hurt anyone's feelings
by these actions.
 
As I said, this is to make sure I do not harm anyone's efforts, and it is
also an attempt to try and releave some of the great anxiety I have over
this situation.  It is affecting my health, and this is the only option
that is left open for me.
 
Please give all the "kiddos" hugs for me. Thinking of you all.
 
Margaret
[Posted in FML issue 2424]