Here are a few more rules from the ferret handbook of human ownership,as
passed on by Valentine,Jasmine & even Taz.I know the other two have been
teaching him,and he's trying hard to learn,but sometimes he slips up,and
snuggles without looking for treats.
The VETS
Remember,teach your human not to take you to the vets to much.This is
sometimes hard with a new human or a worrier.Try not to go into dead ferret
sleep with either of these humans present,as you may end up at the vets
wondering how you got there.However,if you play it just right and wait till
they start to panic then stretch and yawn,this may get you an extra treat or
two.
Before you get there.
1.If you're due for shots,and your human will give it away by getting out
the carrier,hide in your ferretus blackholus.A new hideout is even better,
one they're not likely to look in.
2.Once you are dragged out,claws raking the floor,try the scared ferret
routine.Shiver and shake all over and act like you might pass out,some of
us don't have to act.
3.You might also try the car sick technique,just make sure you aim it out
the door of the carrier.This way you don't have to sit in it,and your
playmates won't take it out on you later.
At the VETS
1.Upon arriving,keep up the scared ferret routine.The amount of shaking is =
to the amount of raisins received afterwards.This is a simple mathmatical
formula to keep in mind.Who says ferrets can't do math.
2.When called to the exam room,be sure to hide under whatever's in your
carrier:rug towel,blankie or other ferret.
3.Upon being taken out,quickly climb up your human and hide in their
hair,or stick your cold nose in their ear.If you are taken off the shoulder
and put on the table,try to get back up the human or into the carrier.Make
sure to check out all escape routes in case you have a chance to use them.
The VET
1.When the vet tries to put in the temperature thing,we all know where that
goes,now's the time to let loose that bomb you've been saving.If you can
pee as well as poop,that's even better.The vets appreciate your giving them
a fresh sample,just look how happy they are.
2.If they're a nice vet and think you're cute,of course you are,all ferrets
are,they'll give you a raisin after poking you where the sun don't shine.
3.Sometimes being weighed will get you a taste of ferretone as a bribe to
hold still,so this can be the fun part.Stand up and wobble back and
forth,so they won't know how many extra treats you've been stealing.
4.When getting a shot,be sure to squeak loudly,and give them the I trusted
you look,as this may get you another raisin.
5.After it's all over,be sure to give the vet kisses,yes,even they are
susceptible to ferret kisses,and maybe next time they won't poke,prod or
stick you.It's worth a try.
After the fact
1.Run to your human and climb them again,remembering to shiver and shake.
We're working for raisins here.Make sure to search your humans pockets for
hidden treats.
2.Enjoy the time in the carrier digging up and rearranging everything,
including your play buddies.
3.Now you can watch your room mates performance,and give them tips on how
to improve,when they get back in the carrier.
Hope we weren't to long,but they wanted to get everything in.Happy Dooking.
Sandy & 3 Fuzzinators
[Posted in FML issue 2416]
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