The folks at the fireplace shop think of you as a regular stove pellet
customer even though they know you don't burn them.
 
You are very sick, but the ferrets seem to have the same thing you do and
you go to the grocer's for duck soup stuff, and forget stuff for yourself.
 
You are a single woman with no kids, and your house is littered with baby
toys.
 
You are a single woman with no kids, and the grocery store clerk knows who
all the didy wipes, baby food, and pedialyte is for.
 
And the same grocery store clerk tells you that although they don't sell it,
she has seen ready made tags for ferret food from the head office.
 
You worry more about what fellow ferret folks will think of the cage
conditions than of your dirty house.
 
The ferret room is ALWAYS cleaner than where you live.
 
You call house guests, after their departure, long distance to see if they
own strange socks that have turned up in your house.
 
When guests look for silverware, they comment on the drawer full of syringes
and special measuring spoons.
 
When you have to explain to last minute company why you have two enormous
trash cans sitting in the kitchen. It is litterbox day and one is for old
litter and one has fresh.
 
You call long distance to see if anyone you know has encountered this exact
shade of green in ferret poopie before.
 
Your bed linens are covered with stains of ferretone and ferretvite.
 
You have learned to deal with ferret hair in your mouth.
 
The number one way to tell if you are enslaved by ferrets?
You get a really goofy look on your face when kissing your ferrets hello
after being gone all day.  Hey, they did miss you after all!
[Posted in FML issue 2348]