Dear Heather:
 
You might want to reconsider your ban on the microchip procedure; we had
our animals equipped with microchips and it provides us with a sense of
security.  From what I understand, the procedure of implanting a tiny
subcutaneous microchip is comparable to vaccination.  It also makes sense;
if you're going to vaccinate to help protect your ferret from diseases, why
not also help protect him from being lost?  Animals that end up in the
pound can be readily identified and their owners easily found if the animal
is equipped with an ID chip.  They'd run the ferret over a grocery checkout
counter or something, and bingo, your name and address would pop up on the
screen.  Collars and tags can get lost, too, but a microchip is harder to
lose.
 
Contrary to popular belief, an animal equipped with an ID chip cannot
necessarily be picked up on military Global Positioning System satellites
(which might be just as well, considering the military's position on
so-called "exotic" pets like ferrets, and the fact that your landlord is
the US Army!) I don't know of any health risks that might result from this
procedure -- maybe someone with more expertise than me has that
information.
 
-Brandon Burt
+ Baldrick (Who wonders if Army ferrets get to wear those neat camoflage
outfits with lots of pockets for extra raisin-launcher ammo!)
[Posted in FML issue 2465]