Since I'm not yet owned by a fuzzie, I can't legitimately contribute to the
you-might-be-a-ferret lists I've read in the FML archives.  However, I can
offer, from the perspective of a not-yet-owner...
 
You know you're ready for your first ferret when:
 
--the staff at every pet store in town not only knows you as "the girl who
  checks on the ferrets daily", but they also know exactly when you'll have
  worked enough hours to afford to get one.
 
--the staff at every pet store in town refer potential ferret owners to ask
  you questions, since a) you're already in the store, and b) you've read
  every ferret FAQ and website that's in English, Spanish, or Portugese.
 
--you've read the *entire* bulk of the FML archives.  All of it.  I kid you
  not.
 
--you steal your roommate's socks, so she won't blame the ferret when he
  finally arrives.
 
--you squint at your roommate's gerbils, thinking that if they all lay in a
  straight line they kind of look a little like a ferret.
 
--instead of doing your statistics homework, you re-read Ferret Central in
  case you missed something the first 700 times you read it.
 
--you ferretproof your apartment every day...despite the fact that no
  ferret lives there.
 
--you realize your long-standing habit of wearing mismatched socks is an
  omen.
 
--you  compile a long, elaborate list of possible ferret names.
 
--you war-dance whenever your e-mail in-box has the new FML.
 
--when you buy baby-proofing supplies and the store clerk asks if you're
  expecting, you answer "yes", assuming she means "expecting a ferret."
 
--you start hiding small, shiny objects around your apartment...just so
  you'll be used to it.
 
-Meghan (fert owner by the end of the month!!!)
[Posted in FML issue 2450]